I am looking for representation for my paranormal suspense manuscript, Deadworld, complete at 118,000 words. A dark story with troubled characters, it offers a different twist on the vampire mythology, a subtler version, where blood is both the source of life and power for those afflicted.
(hook starts here)
Hard-nosed FBI agent Jackie Rutledge isn’t a stranger to ghosts, ESP, and other paranormal oddities. After all, her partner Laurel, has the unique gift of sensing dead people. Vampires are an entirely different matter. When a twelve-year-old boy turns up dead in a local park, completely drained of blood, Jackie suspects Nick Anderson, PI, may be a vampire intent on repeating a gruesome series of murders. Spiraling close to a nervous breakdown when Laurel is murdered, Jackie is left alone in deciphering the bizarre crimes.
It soon becomes evident that while Nick is a vampire, he’s not the murderer. Instead, he’s the victim of an age-old vendetta perpetrated by another vampire, Cornelius Drake, whose powers are drawn from the world of the dead. In order to even have a chance against Drake, Jackie must put all of her fears aside and ally with Nick. When they are trapped by him in a burning funeral home, she must allow Nick to consume her blood so they can escape to Deadworld. Here, Nick once again has to accept the sacrifice of his long lost wife in order to put this ancient horror to rest and keep him and Jackie from becoming the latest additions to Deadworld.
You're focused on what happens and it's so run of the mill I'm not even tempted to shiver. You can use vampires, and write vampire stories all you want but you have to have a story (overcoming an age old vendetta is a motivation not a story) and you have to give it something fresh and new. Same old, same old, even for the undead, doesn't work.