12.16.2006

HH Com 43

When an urbane New Yorker named Missy Snark finds herself in possession of a bawdy house in the tiny gold mining town of Dead Man’s Gulch, Nevada, she little knew she would meet the man she would gladly die for. SHE DIED WITH HER STILLETOS ON opens with Grandma Snark dying joyously in a gunfight while jumping a claim, leaving her prosperous saloon to her only surviving grandchild. Missy Snark arrives in the aptly named Dead Man’s Gulch where the aptly named killer Wyatt App falls hard for her. Snark rebuffs him, for she has fallen instantly in love with the town simpleton, a clueless young man named Looney George. Enraged at being rebuffed, App shoots the grinning Looney George dead. Enraged at seeing the love of her life lifeless, Snark snarls, “You think these babies are pointy because I like you?” and reaches into her ample bosom and pulls out a small pair of well-fondled pistols. “I thought them mammalia looked derringerous,” App begins, but Snark shoots him right between the eyes before he could finish whatever banality he had in mind. App draws his own faithful weapon, and in a dying, unsteady hand, shoots Snark in one of her many vital parts before collapsing wearily to the floor. In a grand, final gesture, the dying Snark, the rapidly cooling body of the still grinning Looney George cradled in her arms, announces, to huzzahs and general acclaim, that drinks are on the house.


pass

10 comments:

December Quinn said...

“I thought them mammalia looked derringerous,”

Ha!

Anonymous said...

pass? Its the best one so far.

Paul said...

She has mammals on her chest?

Anonymous said...

Hands down the best hook thus far.

Anonymous said...

I am so dead when Miss Snark reaches me way down in the queue. I went with the "hook" description on Agent Query that dear Miss Snark referred to—all one sentence grabbers to start a query. These entries all seems like fully fledged queries, only lacking an author bio.

ORION said...

Ignore thy nay sayers.
Ignore them I tell you.
Self publish this tome.

A Paperback Writer said...

I like it. :)

Cutty Snark said...

Art imitates life!

If I may elaborate on the word "pass," what you have here is a single scene, not a 100,000 word novel.

Anonymous said...

"a small pair of well-fondled pistols" WTF? Miss Snark what ever your doing to "Looney George" has to stop.

Get some help you need it.

Passover came soon. LOL

luna_the_cat said...

Oh, c'mon....that was funny.

I did not get the impression it was meant to be in any way serious, either.