12.16.2006

HH Com 44

The Misadventures of the Laundry Hag:
Skeletons in the Closet

When your husband is a former Navy SEAL, the modern day equivalent of a Spartan warrior, it’s easy for the average woman to feel insignificant. Maggie Phillips holds her head high against the thinly veiled skepticism and outright disbelief which has greeted her throughout a decade of marriage. Unfortunately, Maggie’s devotion to her husband, Neil, and two adopted sons hasn't prepared her for the challenges of running her own business. Or for the bodies piling up around her. Poor bumbling Maggie must search for a killer amongst the elite of Hudson Massachusetts in the only way she can; by scrubbing their thrones.
Of the porcelain variety that is...


This is a hook but I don't understand the connection between the Navy SEAL husband and feeling insignificant, or "outright disbelief". Do people think he's not a SEAL??

This literally doesn't make sense to me.

12 comments:

Calamity Jane said...

I want a heroine I can root for. "Poor bumbling Maggie" doesn't cut it for me. What does she have in her that will give her the strength and resourcefulness to solve anything?

December Quinn said...

I don't understand it either, and I don't understand why anyone would think being devoted to her husband would prepare her to run her own business, so I don't know why that sentence is there.

Anonymous said...

Hello grammar? Hello apostrophes? Do you really think that an agent or editor will ever consider your work seriously if you don't actually learn English grammar?

Sentence one: missing apostrophe
Sentence three: missing apostrophe

Catastrophe.

Anonymous said...

I think the writer cut and pasted from word, which is why there are funky characters where the apostrophe should be. Note to author :RETYPE IT

Anonymous said...

"porcelain variety"...yuck!

John said...

All I can guess is that "Spartan warrior" was meant to suggest that the husband is gay, leading to the disbelief - apparently, he's also as camp as they come, so everyone knows that he's gay...

Well, it's all that suggested itself to me.

pax et bonum

Anonymous said...

Oh, wait, I think I get it! Nobody can believe that this hunky SEAL married a poor bumbler called Maggie. This could probably use more verbage.

skybluepinkrose said...

Did anybody notice that she's a serial scrubber?

shannon said...

Am I right in thinking that the set-up description of Spartan warrior hubby is there to cast poor Maggie in a poorer light by comparison? It could be said much more simply, with less room for problematic interpretations. For instance, when I started reading it, my first take was that it was going to be a sort of True Lies kind of thing.

And what is the connection between running your own business and dead bodies? Unless you're a funeral director? There's a brief mention of a killer as if it's a side plot, while the real issue is whether she can improve her self-esteem cause she's nothing like her husband. She married him, she's "devoted" to him, but if he makes her feel that bad about herself he can't be worth it.

(See, it's happening again: I'm getting completely distracted by the whole navy Seal husband thing, when the story should be about Maggie.)

Oh, and calm down about the apostrophes! Those funny little squares show that there were apostrophes there, but that they were probably from a different program.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, the hooks leaving me a bit confused. If it's a story about Maggie getting some self-esteem from solving the murder, then maybe that should be included in the hook. And the Navy Seal husband overshadowed her to the point that I expect her to call on him at the end of the book to come blow they murderer away. Maybe if there was some comedy aspect to it in a True Lies kind of way< i could see this working as you've laid it out in the hook, but I have a feeling the hook doesn't get the gist of the book. Are we supposed to feel sorry for Maggie?

Anonymous said...

A "Spartan warrior" is a condom for extra large Seals and Pinnipeds ... of course the average woman is gonna feel insignificant!

Throw 'im a fish and get outta Dodge! But, NEVER, EVER, sit on, or scrub near any potty when water creatures are after ya...

(Oh, good Lord, I think I understand this story!)

Haste yee back ;-)

~Nancy said...

I think this needs more details before I can understand what's going on.

~JerseyGirl