HH Com 440

Maria Contessa Sandrina Bollova Wallace Fitzgerald the Second was virtually on the cover of every entertainment magazine in the world when the most powerful celebrity couple in Hollywood adopted her 15 years ago. After the afterglow wore off, Gwen and Tad announced to the public that it would be best to send her to a prestigious boarding school in the Swiss Alps, far removed from Hollywood's harsh limelight and the pesky tabloid reporters. Unfortunately the real reason Sandrine has been sent away has nothing to do with the disadvantages of growing up in front of the camera, but instead because of Tad's predilections towards young girls. Fearing when Sandrine gets older that she will come to terms with her abuse and seek out her abuser, Gwen makes sure her daughter is unable to communicate with the world about her childhood by forcing her into isolation, where nothing she can say or do could burst the couple's proverbial bubble, that is until Sandrine becomes a legal adult, a rapidly approaching event. After years of abuse, torment, therapy and reclusion, will Sandrine seek retribution against Tad and Gwen or accept her freedom quietly?

ok, there's the set up, such as it is.
Now, where's the novel?


Dave said...

Try this out for size:

After years of abuse, torment and forced seclusion Sandrine seeks retribution on her abusive step-father and his enabler, her stepmother. Can she win her freedom without killing them?

But this still not a hook. IT's a place to start.

Anonymous said...

Remember The Scarlet Letter? A similar thing happened to that little girl. What was her name? Pearl?

If this is backstory, I vote for sexual promiscuity to counter the isolation and misdeeds of the step-daddy. She could work her way onto the cover of "entertainment" magazines too. The limelight isn't harsh after all; it's just green. Then again, anyone named Tad deserves what they get.

good luck.

angie said...

I can't help but be reminded of Mommie Dearest - and that at least is (purported) to be a true story.

I dunno, but I can't tell what the story arc is here. Is this one of those internal conflict stories, or is there something else going on?

Anonymous said...

Interesting setup and characters, but the name at the beginning threw me off. It sounds like royalty, not celebrity. Also, I couldn't figure out if that was her name before or after adoption.

writtenwyrdd said...

Point of logic: She's been abused for years, yet she was adopted and sent packing after the tabloid hubub died down. When, then, did she have time to be abused?

Also, this is the background, which everyone else has already said.

batgirl said...

The child's name threw me. Contessa is a title (countess) and so I saw her first as a titled adult, then I read that she's been adopted. Maybe there's a snide joke in her being given a title as part of her name, like boys being called Earl or Duke, but I think as a first thing it's more confusing than amusing.

Anonymous said...

"Daddy Dearest" the title of Sandrine's new memoir, next on Oprah!

Anonymous said...

Punctuation errors. While rewriting, solve those as well.

Get someone to proof anything you send to anyone in the publishing world. Most people won't look past grammar and punctuation mistakes.

Anonymous said...

Her name is like those celebrity kids names, right? Pilot Inspektor and Shiloh Noveau and what not. cute.