12.26.2006

HH Com 443

2,000 years ago, the sacrifice of Jesus Christ opened the gates of Heaven. Now, the Fallen seek the one child who's sacrifice will open the gates of Hell, allowing them to flood across our world and burn it to the ground.

(your hook starts here)
Laurel was once a killer, a soldier in an underground war against the supernatural. Now, she is middle-aged, a responsible single mother. But when she gets trapped between the armies of Heaven and Hell and her daughter is killed, Laurel's preciously ordinary life is shattered.

Laurel picks up the guns she'd sworn never to touch again and races to find the one child, (insert brief explanation taken from first paragraph here) to protect him from the schemes of demons and angels alike. But when the child is snatched, Laurel rushes in where even fools fear to tread, waging a one woman war on devil, angel, and any hand of man that is against her.

And not even God can help whatever stands in her way.


Perfect for the Easter season, you betcha.

Focus on Laurel. She sounds like kind of a kick ass girl. Less melodrama, more actual story.

10 comments:

A Paperback Writer said...

Again, all I can think of is Good Omens. Maybe I just need to read the book again. But maybe you should, too.

Anonymous said...

I know angels are weakened by bad weather (must be the thongs and wonder bras they're always wearing on TV), but can you really fight Satan with a gun? Who knew? I would have used calcium vitamins and the smell of lavender.

good luck.

Ski said...

Miss Snarks corrections sure did change this for the better. I like the writing even if it's pretty close to being over the top. I think you have something here and I sure wish you good luck.

Rgds........Ski

writtenwyrdd said...

I like this one. I picture that her motivation for saving this kid is much more about redemption for the loss of her own (parental guilt and all that) than just saving the known universe from becoming Satan's backyard.

Gimme this one on the shelves so I can buy it!

Anonymous said...

Aw, shucks, bring back her dead daughter for a sidekick.

I Said said...

Possible story, but the writing is very cliched: "Laurel's preciously ordinary life is shattered." and "Laurel rushes in where even fools fear to tread, waging a one woman war..."

If you're using nearly 10% of your 250-word limit on cliches, I'd wonder about the writing.

Virginia Miss said...

I hate reading books in which a protag's child dies. I'm likely to put it down at that point.

Anonymous said...

This is what Christian fiction has been missing: a kick ass heroine.

I would totally read something like this.

Anonymous said...

"Now, the Fallen seek the one child who's sacrifice will open the gates of Hell, allowing them to flood across our world and burn it to the ground."

Grammar error in your second sentence: 'who's' should be 'whose'.

That would guarantee you didn't get asked for pages from most agents.

canwag said...

"Now, the Fallen seek the one child who's [sic] sacrifice will open the gates of Hell, allowing them to flood across our world and burn it to the ground."

I realize this post is extremely late and probably will be viewed by no one but I've just got to point this out. The "Fallen" want to flood across our world and burn it; okay, I get that. But if they burn it, there won't BE any "ground" any more, right? Or am I being way too nit picky here?