12.26.2006

HH Com 457

Still reeling from his wife’s untimely death, Rick Helms hopes a vacation to idyllic Cuzco, nestled in the heart of Peru, will offer him a fresh perspective on life. On a train, he befriends Annie Elliott, a terrified young woman who’s gone to extremes to rid herself of a stalker. Along the Inca Trail to Machu Picchu, the sacred sanctuary of the Incas tucked in a remote rainforest high in the Andes, the two strangers forge a bond of trust that draws a grieving Rick into Annie’s web of fear.

Back home, in the quiet enclave of Old Greenwich, Connecticut, Mary Bennett, Rick’s elderly friend and landlord, takes Annie in. But this round, soft grandmother with arthritis is not as innocent as she seems.

Haunted by a brutal assault, Annie begins the emotional journey of salvaging her dignity and sense of self. But suspicions surrounding Annie intensify. Who is this stranger? Is she after Rick’s multi-million dollar inheritance? Is the desire for the family he desperately wants clouding Rick’s judgment? Wary friends question Annie’s motives and vow to uncover her true identity. And when secrets from her past unravel, the truth is far more sinister than they imagined.

DEAD WOMAN’S PASS weaves a bittersweet tale between two people whose lives have been ripped apart, and a killer who will stop at nothing to fulfill his mission.


They may meet in Peru but the hook starts when they go back to Connecticut.
Be specific about what the problem is.
And "a killer who will stop at nothing" is a founding member of the now famous Nameless Faceless Evil kickline.

3 comments:

cm allison said...

You made it much more interesting and succinct since EE, good job. Just a little more concentration (maybe drop the grandmother type for now?) should help tighten it and draw more attention to the problems Annie faces. NOW ou have more of my attention and curiousity.

Anonymous said...

Obviously, I lack Miss Snark's experience, insight and tolerance for pain, but the cumulative effect of reading all these entries is making me hear the hackneyed-phrase buzzer all the time now. For instance:

....reeling from XX untimely death...
... a fresh perspective on life....
...gone to extremes...
... strangers forge a bond ....
... draws XXX into XXX web ...
... the quiet enclave ...
... not as XX as she seems.
... the emotional journey ...
.... secrets XX unravel ...
... weaves a bittersweet tale...
... a killer who will stop at nothing to ...

On the other hand: The story sounds plenty interesting, and probably would not have the same effect on readers who haven't been immersed in the Crapometer pool for a week.

Virginia Miss said...

I got confused. Who is suspicious of Annie, or is Annie suspicious of others? From who's POV is the sentence "Who is this stranger?" Ricks? Mary's? Or is it Annie's question about Mary Bennett? I think this paragraph (the one that begins with "Haunted") starts with Annie's point of view and then switches, and it's jarring.