HH COM 471

Summer, 1973. A young family has gone “back to the Land”…never dreaming that the Land itself might not want them there.
An earnest former insurance salesman and his newly braless wife settle into a one-room cabin with their two children. Seven-year-old Princess wanders the forest freely as the adults smoke pot, drop acid, and swim nude in the river. But the real trouble begins when one too many hippies show up, and the monster awakens.
EEL RIVER, complete at 80,000 words, is a modern literary horror tale set in rural northern California.

so...they're busy doing drugs. Are they calling for take out? Indeependently wealthy? I don't mind suspending disbelief but it shouldn't be for basic stuff like food and shelter.

You know by now this isn't a hook.

Start over.


Anonymous said...

Eel River. They're swimming naked in a place called eel river.

Sheesh, let the monster eat 'em.

Turn this into a comedy script and sell it to Bruce Campbell's agent.

--friend of a dude who got bit by something eel-shaped while said dude was skinny dipping.
It was the opinion of his companions that the biter felt threatened by the dude's own eel-shapped appendage and that's why he got bit in that particular wince-worthy spot.

Inkwolf said...

Horror tends to work best when people can identify with the victims. I'm afraid I'm skeptical how much empthy readers would have for a drugged-out 1960's/70's Sunshine Family, even if one's a cute little girl.

My personal suggestion--make it a modern-day nudist colony, being invaded by a voyeuristic local gang. :p That offers plenty of scope for conflict and excuses for people disappearing, even before the eels start eating them...

Anonymous said...

See, i thought "and then the monster wakes up" was awesome.

skybluepinkrose said...

I don't see a reason why this has to be set in 1973. Too bad, because I like "newly braless wife." I don't have a problem with them at least attempting to live off the land, because a "former insurance salesman," particularly if he had a number of corporate clients, can pull in a decent income just from his clients continuing on with the firm. One guy I knew did exactly that after he left insurance sales for itinerant preaching. Besides, insurance people tend to know how to invest their $. Besides again, this is the idealistic early 70s. So there's ONE possible reason why you need the time period, but IMO not strong enough. If the eel can wake up and eat people in the present day, it should.

Anonymous said...

Literary horror? Seriously? I don't buy it.

But this was worth reading for the first commenter's hilarious signature.

I Said said...

I sure wouldn't call it a literary horror, for both reasons.

Anonymous said...

First, I need someone to empathise with. Druggie drop-out parents don't do it for me. And a faceless girl named "Princess" doesn't either, unless and until she acquires a personality. Who's doing the farming and planting, anyhow?

Focus, find the conflict, (who is Princess, what does she want, what does she do with herself, how does she perceive her parents and their druggie friends?) and give us someone to care about. Right now I'm happy to feed the whole family to the monsters.

Also, you might check your dates a bit. By 1973, the Vietnam war is grinding down and the Summer of Love stuff is fading. Maybe try 1968-69, more the heart of the whole "drop-out" culture.

December Quinn said...

I guess I'm the only one who'd love to read about pretentious hippies getting killed by primordial beasts?