HH Com 489 (488 is walking the labradoodle)

New York City artist Clara's world is broken wide open when she experiences a series of hallucinations. Vanraj, a programmer from Simla, betrays Clara and their relationship breaks. In her distress, Clara finds herself haunted by rich and frightening visions. Not wanting to bend under pressure or fear, Clara faces her visions head-on. She's swept into the world of ancient India 5000 years ago, where she encounters a young woman named Jaana, a tribal nomad living in a time and place where gods and demons still walked with people every day. In the swirl of scenes that follow, mysteries of the past overlap present realities, and ancient India's complex spirituality intrudes into the present-day existential lives of Clara and her friends. Who is Jaana? Why is her life haunting Clara's nights? Jaana's and Clara's cultures confront each other across great gulfs of time and traditions, and Clara finds that life is vastly more complex than it's made out to be.

This is a mess.
Start over. Use the Hook Me Up formula to get started.

And ditch all the phrases in red.
There's a lot to be said for simple declarative sentences.

1 comment:

Virginia Miss said...

India 5000 years ago. If well-researched, this could be cool. But watch the overwriting.