HH Com 517

A missing cheerleader, a jealous boyfriend, and an eccentric peddler with entrepreneurial plans cross paths turning a quirky Appalachian town upside down. Cuffy Landers, a seventeen-year-old forced into mandatory maturity with the death of his mother joins the fray, and the lively and colorful journey of this reluctant hero begins.

Spring 1969 arrives, finding Cyrus Flannery, a struggling door to door salesman believing it will be the best Easter ever for his failing business. The timid, yet conniving salesman comes up with a plan to corner the colored Easter egg market until jealous Tyler Armstrong enters the picture.

Sandy True is the queen bee of Flynn City High with two dreams. Hollywood, and like most in the town, to leave Flynn City. When she loses a letter after colliding with Cuffy Landers in the hallway of the school the conundrum begins. The contents hold a secret that would dethrone her. But, unknown to her, Cuffy loses the letter too.

When Sandy True disappears, no one is more suspect than the Egg Man, and Tyler will stop at nothing to get his revenge. After all, Tyler's symbol of going steady is found in the Egg Man's truck, his high school ring. Can Cuffy save the Egg Man from Tyler's wrath, and what will the letter reveal?

The Flynn City Egg Man is 73,000-word coming of age romp through Appalachia with rumors of kidnapping, suspicious townsfolk, and finding Cuffy Landers sitting right in the middle of the heap known as Flynn City.

You've got too much going on here for a good hook. Who's the main character? Focus on him/her and the problems faced.


Anonymous said...

Avoid words like quirky that tell the reader what to think. Instead, show it.

Anonymous said...

Missing comma in the first sentence. NOT an optional comma, a necessary one. The rest of the hook is the same: where you need commas, you omit them, and where you add them, they are incorrect.

Have anything you send anyone in the publishing industry proofed. It will give your writing a much better chance.