HH Com 524 (522 and 523 are spying on Killer Yapp from a tree)

Fifteen-year-old Annie is just about to be released from the local insane asylum when she does something that threatens to push her treatment back indefinitely: She kills an asylum guard.

An event that Annie claims was an accident turns her whole life upside-down. The move to a more secure area of the asylum means a change in her entire social circle, from her psychiatrist to the inmates who were her friends. With no outside visitors allowed, she is completely cut off from her boyfriend. And she will soon find her position as murderer replaced with that of victim…

The worst part? Annie knows in advance that she's going to be killed – though not when, how, or by who. Understandably enough, all her pleas for help fall on deaf ears – who's really going to believe an inmate will be murdered in a high security area of an asylum? Even her new friends scoff her fears – until the day one of them finds a knife, and Annie's prediction becomes reality.

Long after the blood is cleaned from the walls, several of the remaining inmates are still wondering how many of Annie's other paranoid-sounding beliefs were true. If she was right, they are all in danger from power-hungry doctors and a corrupt government – and, as they will discover when they try to escape, each other.

Annie kills a guard and gets moved to a new ward. Then what? and how in the world do power-hungry doctors and a corrupt government fit into things? And 'insane asylum' is a phrase that stopped being used quite some time ago.


Anonymous said...

"Annie's prediction becomes reality."

If I understand this right, author, you kill off Annie? So then, who is the book really about? How far into the book does Annie die?

Kathleen said...

I think you need to do a little more research on the mental health system in general. After the Reagan years, mental hospitals on the whole operate in one of two ways -- either it's a private hospital where patients voluntarily commit themselves (if they're in a catatonic state, family members can do it for them), or else the patient has committed a crime and is declared insane or mentally unfit to stand trial. What you're writing sounds very "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" in terms of the hospital, and that's just not how the system operates anymore. Even in city hospitals, the psych wards can only hold people involuntarily for a set amount of time before they have to release them again.

There's a kernel of a good idea in here, but I think it needs a lot more work.

Kathleen said...

I just noticed the protagonist was fifteen. D'oh! If she's under eighteen, then she can be involuntarily committed. Sorry about that, author.

writtenwyrdd said...

I'm confused. What is there for a doctor to be power hungry about in this situation? Over the creation of human misery?

xiqay said...

There are cliched phrases in this: "insane asylum," "turns her whole life upside-down," and "fall on deaf ears."

I feel for Annie, but once she's dead, what makes me want to keep reading? I'm not hooked.

Good luck.

Twill said...

Okay, if she's dead, then who's the sotry about?