HH Com 527

Madison Krauss isn’t your average professional. She cusses like a sailor, drinks like a fish, has a penchant for poker, and isn’t afraid of participating in a little recreational drug use. All of this doesn’t exactly warrant a nomination for Employee of the Year, but it does make her one of the best undercover narcotics investigators her company has seen since Vinnie the
Fink back in ’99.

On assignment in a manufacturing plant, Madison sets her sights on a heroin dealer suspected of causing several deaths. She was prepared for anything but his sexy right-hand man, Gabriel Marquette. It’s tough to bust the bad guy when she keeps picturing his friend naked. Accustomed to living a dual life, Madison finds herself overwhelmed with all of the additional lies she’s forced to tell him and her equally hot boss. It’s only a matter of time before
everything crashes in on her.

As things come to a head with the kingpin, Madison discovers Gabe is keeping secrets of his own – secrets that leave her wondering if her narrow focus on one suspect has allowed another to creep through the backdoor…and into her heart.

From rolling fatties with potheads to fake snorting lines of cocaine off bathroom counters, MISS NARC is a fast-paced ride through the world of undercover investigations that will leave readers on the edge of their seats – scared, but begging for another hit.

This a wonderful compelling voice, and funny as hell.
I'm never going to read it.
There's no way in HELL I'm treating selling heroin like a lightweight romp.
I think Omar's cool, as does everyone in Baltimore, and I recognized the humanity of Stringer Bell but not for one second do I think drug trafficking is funny or a good match for a romantic comedy.


Anonymous said...

There's no way in HELL I'm treating selling heroin like a lightweight romp.

I have known several heroin dealers, and they all assure me that there is no better fun.

Virginia Miss said...

Although Miss Snark doesn't like it, other agents might want to read it, on the strength of your writing.

If the novel ends with Madison riding off into the sunset with a drug dealer, it'll be a hard sell, but as long as the bad guys all get their comeuppance, you've got a shot. If the latter is the case, find a way to hint at this in your hook.

I suggest you lead with your second sentence. "Madison Krauss cusses like a sailor, drinks..."

Anonymous said...

"Miss Narc."

Tee hee.

Anonymous said...

I like the name alot, and it's probably an interesting quick read (assuming the writing flows), but to me, she's a type -- the cliched anti-professional -- because she does everything ... drink, cuss, etc. she's not supposed to/expected to do. From the first line, I was half thinking Miss Congeniality, only in her case she has stop her bad habits for the job) Also, what company hires drug investigators? I thought the FBI, police, etc. did this. Or do you mean company as short for company of officers? Good luck with it.

Anonymous said...

With Gabe having secrets of his own... You've definitely caught my interest. There is an agent out there for you, and probably an editor right behind them.

Anonymous said...

Definitely, first anonymous. I sense some gentle leg-pulling here.

cavillor said...

I love it.

If I saw this in a bookstore I would buy it.

Jen (author) said...

Miss Snark,

Thank you for looking at this - sorry to hear it's not quite your cuppa tea. (g) Although I'm disappointed you won't be looking at my pages, I'm at least heartened by the 'compelling voice and funny as hell' bit. You've pointed out a potential problem when it comes to hooking an agent - getting them to see past the word 'drugs' to the story itself. I guess I'll have to think long and hard about whether this query will get the job done or not.

Jen (author) said...

Anon 3 -- Madison works for a private investigation company that works in conjunction with the local police, FBI, or whatever agency is handling the specific problem they're sent in to 'fix.' (g) It's a former profession of mine - and although there aren't a lot of these companies, they do exist. And she actually _doesn't_ have to stop these bad habits for her job - they only make it easier for her to get in with the dealers, etc. :)

Anon 4 -- Thank you! :)

Cavillor -- Thank you!! Love to hear that...and I hope you're right.

Virginia Miss -- The bad guys definitely get it in the end...I'll try to work more of that angle into the hook itself. Thanks!

xiqay said...

Congratulations on getting some good comments from MS, even if you didn't get a request for pages.

For me, I didn't like this much. I didn't like the beginning because Madison Krauss sounds stereotypical as novel heroine in mysteries, etc. And I guess I flinch at the "average professional" assumptions. There's an assumed double-standard here that is sex-based, and it bothers me. (Lots of male professionals cuss like sailors, drink like fish and play poker).

I also didn't find the use of trite comparisons endearing at all.

I also didn't get the "professional" role in a company and how it related to undercover narcotics investigations. You explain that in your comments in this trail, but that's not clear from the hook and not something everybody knows.

Falling in love with a sexy drug-dealing thug doesn't endear Madison Krauss to me, either.

So this would be a big pass for me.

Good luck.

Sundae Best said...

Oh, I would sooooooo read this!

Anonymous said...

to xiqay:
In the very first paragraph the author states that Madison is an undercover narcotics investigator. This character sounds very street savy to me and wouldn't just fall for a drug dealer. Madison must see something in this man that someone reading the back cover would also suspect. She did say he has secrets of his own, did she not?

To author:
I don't know where MS got heroine selling as a lightweight romp. I didn't get that at all. Miss Narc sounds like a fun book with lots of suspense and surprises. Finally, something different and refreshing.

Kat said...

This sounds hella fun. I'd read it.

Anonymous said...

This reminded me of Elmore Leonard's "Out of Sight." I agree that MS was off on characterizing this as a light-hearted romance. Definitely show this to other agents--I think someone else will understand and appreciate what you were going for.

Southern Writer said...

Great hook, but Gabriel isn't really a dealer, he's an undercover cop, right?

I checked to see if Blow was a book before it was a movie. No.

Traffic wasn't a book, either. The screen play was written by Stephen Gaghan, but it's doubtful you would be able to find out who his agent is, since he's a big Hollywood player (director).

However, there was a book called Rush by Kim Wozencraft a few years back that was made into a movie starring Jennifer Jason Leigh and Jason Patric. If you can find out who Wozencraft's agent is, you might get yourself a good deal. Good luck!

Jen (author) said...

Thanks to everyone for all the comments and suggestions. I think the 'recreational drug use' line might've given the wrong impression. The first bit was meant to describe her on the job - perhaps I should add something about her 'off' the job. Anyway, that line has been axed and hopefully that will clear up some misunderstandings about Madison being a drug addicted Narc. (g)

Anyway - thanks to everyone for their encouraging words.

Anonymous said...

Echoing a previous anonymous, I don't see where Miss Snark got the bit about heroin dealing being a harmless bit of fun, either. Maybe you need to mention whether/how the bad guys get their commuppance (or maybe our beloved Miss S is working too hard!)

Anonymous said...

I'd dump this line--"is a fast-paced ride through the world of undercover investigations that will leave readers on the edge of their seats – scared, but begging for another hit"--if I were you.

When you tell readers what they'll feel, it almost begs them to doubt you.