In my YA historical manuscript NINEVEH,(your hook starts here--->) sixteen year old Nirari is thrust into palace life when mysterious heavenly signs bring her father to the throne. But when he attempts to appease the gods through human sacrifice Nirari must flee Nineveh to save her brother’s life. Despite her boycott of all things supernatural, Nirari’s journey is fraught with unsolicited divine intervention. At the city of Tyre a sea monster rises from the deep and spits a naked prophet onto the sand. Still covered with seaweed and bile he proclaims a message of doom, a cryptic riddle, and the unsettling demands of a foreign deity. Dare she obey and return to Nineveh? What will happen to her brother if she does? What will happen to her home if she doesn’t?
He ends up pitching for the Cubs?
oh wait, wrong hook.
You've got events. You're missing the bad guy, motivation and plot. Even at that, your batting average is better than ...well..never mind.