HH Com 557

What if there weren’t any music? What if you were the key to getting it back?

In the year 3050, Count Otis De Manfé has just come into power after defeating his brother. The Eight-Year War left the Count penniless and his kingdom of Four Leaf Tiers in discord. To punish the citizens of the Highlands, where his brother had ruled, he took away their most prized possession—music.

Now the Count has grown desperate for money and announced that one lucky citizen will be able to perform at his daughter’s wedding. Each man or woman wishing to enter must pay 100 tenors in order to compete. The Count will get much needed money this way, and it will lure the band of pesky rogue musicians back into the city where he can do away with them once and for all.

Elise dreams of going to the city and when she hears of the competition she is ecstatic to be able to see it. She has always heard of music, but never experienced it herself, and now she will finally get her chance, only her “aunt and uncle” have forbidden her to come along, deeming her unworthy. Elise, never one to be easily discouraged, follows them but is detained by Rhea and Pete, Professor Beet Haven’s muses, and is taken to his village where the musicians live. There she must discover her true identity that will help the musicians reclaim their music.

This is an idea, and a set up, it's not a hook. Focus on Elsie. Leave out the set up. Start when she hears about the competition. Then tell us what happens.


Twill said...

1) Definitely leave out the year unless this takes place in the future.

2) The guy outlaws music and then names the money "tenors"?

Bella Stander said...

If there weren't any music, then there wouldn't be any "key" to getting it back.

Or maybe your M.C. would have to C sharp or she'd B flat... (Old joke, but I couldn't resist. Seriously, though, don't use "key" in this instance.)

Crystal Charee said...

It's not clear how long between then (3050) and now (30--?) is because one paragraph later, he's allowing music back. Unless these people live to be super old, one man's lifetime isn't going to be able to build up the same amount of anticipation as, say, a few centuries.

Also, what's to stop all the musicians from just moving to another kingdom where music is allowed? And if music is outlawed, how are there still musicians?

Definitely an interesting idea. I like muse stories too.

annie said...

How in the world do you take away music? Someone will always be singing or playing in the privacy of their homes, unless there's a Big Brother thing going on. If so, you want to make that clear.

Anonymous said...

How do you take away music? Unless you have a magician casting a spell that makes all instruments unplayable and all voices unable to sing, which you don't mention, it's an unenforceable thing: people will always be able to hum to themselves when they think no one's listening.

Also - people of the Highlands? That sounds like their music should be bagpipes. Is that your intention?

Leaving the land in 'discord' sounds like an accidental pun.

How can a girl's true identity get people their music back? Music is a community activity, that has to be played in groups, especially as you've presented it as being the music of a whole people. The idea doesn't comfortably lend itself to one person's specialness being the answer. You need a lot of good musicians to make a band.

The competition sounds like a fun idea, and you have the potential for a lot of good characters and enjoyable scenes the way you've set it up. More story and more specifics would help.

Anonymous said...

This may have been sent twice. My apologies if it did.

The Count has taken away music by sending a fever upon the people of the kingdom which wiped out most of the villagers and the ones who did survive were left without the ability to sing or play music. A small group of former musicians escaped to the forest where Professor Beet Haven is working on a spell to reverse the affects of the fever. He has all of the ingredients, except Elise - she has the ability to reverse the spell, but doesn't know it. Once they have her then the spell will be lifted and they can overthrow the Count.

From the author

puzzlehouse said...

"Professor Beet Haven," "Elise" (think Beethoven's piano piece "Fur Elise"), "the key," "discord," "Four Leaf Tiers," and "tenors" -- I feel something tugging on my leg.

writtenwyrdd said...

Haven't they ever heard of humming? Making a grass harp?

Anonymous said...

Hang on - if he's killed everyone who has musical ability (which doesn't stop the villages having music, just good music), then surely the large numbers of dead people are more important than the lack of music. Priorities?