HH Com 564

“What did you see in there?” Cole asked the rookie cop, Murphy, even though she recognized the vacant stare, blank expression, and isolation as signs of PTSD. Murphy slowly turned her head until their eyes met.
“The Devil has Come.” Murphy muttered over and over, “The Devil has Come.”

(your hook starts here)
FBI Agent A.J. Branson has been tracking the serial killer who he dubbed, The Keeper, for seven weeks, 35 young women spread out over 7 cities and 5 states, and he has no idea who he is. The only clues left at the scene are a dismembered body, semen, a poem and a large bloody hand print that has a large scar spanning across the entire hand.

Cole Saunders and Ben Hartgren are fist to investigate a bizarre murder involving a close friend. Her dismembered body is found in a desolate farm house. The only clues left at the scene is a missing right breast, in it’s place, a poem is left, and a bloody hand print left on the sheet.

As A.J. gets word his killer is in Minnesota, failure swims on the surface as yet another five women will die if he doesn’t stop him. As A.J., Ben, and Cole step into the shoes of a maniacal crazed psychopath and delve deep into each death poem, their worst fears are realized when they discover it’s not just one killer they seek, there are two.

The final confrontation occurs in a small country church where each must face their worst nightmare, alone and unprepared.

I can't begin to tell you how over over over serial killers I am. Dismembered bodies, poems, clues...blechhhh. It's been done to death (so to speak). I don't even read pages for these any more I'm so sick of them.

The reason I'm sick of them is that in most cases, the antagonist is must some sort of boring ass psychopath who's exacting revenge on his firstlove/mother/agent whatever. Booooring.

Give me some substance in the character, some kind of genuine motivation, a character who is genuinely frightening not just a cartoonish Jason/Freddy/ChainsawfromTexas.

And failure doesn't "swim to the surface" unless it's a shark who needs dental work.


Zany Mom said...

Miss Snark, I take it you're saying that serial killers in general aren't bad, just that the ones crossing your desk are just flat and boring and just out for the shock value and revenge? But a good killer (aka Hanibal Lecter) who is truly chilling would intrigue you? One with motivations that are not the usual?

Anonymous said...

I read "Cole Saunders" as Col. Sanders and am presently jonesing for some KFC.

We need a book about a serial killer who targets would-be writers of serial killer books. They're found choked to death by rejection letters jammed down their pie holes. Tired editors and agents are the prime suspects, but their co-workers refuse to rat them out.

The only clues left behind are the haughty marks left by sky-high heels, a few curly dog hairs, and a very small but nice tam.

Adrian said...

So, Miss Snark, what makes 548 worthy if poorly-motivated pyschopathic serial killers are boring?

Hoyt Peterson said...

Though I can understand your feelings on serial killers, mine I assure you, isn't any you mentioned. Unfortunately, I was not allowed to expound greatly on any one charachter with the allotted 250 words and since you have preached incessantly about too much going on, I am sure glad I didn't. I would like to have known about my hook rather than the ranting that I received regarding how tired you were of serial killers but, I guess you get what you pay for. Lastly failure does swim on the surface, just look at all the help you have given us! To those that have responded to my hook, thank you and have a happy new year.