12.29.2006

HH Com 567 (566 is taking tango lessons with Grandmother Snark)

Allow me to introduce Rebecca Jane MacDonald.

Rebecca has been an actress, a thief and an assassin. Now she is a recluse with a passion for extreme sports. Her only family is her grandmother, Annie MacDonald. Someone is playing games with Rebecca and a contract has been placed on Annie's life. Drawn back into a world of death and deceit, Rebecca is faced with a riddle. Who is Annie MacDonald and why has her grandmother's past become tangled up with her own?

Rebecca wants to get Annie to a place of safety but Annie is not co-operating. As if it's not enough that she has to neutralise three killers, explore her grandmother's murky past and find the man behind the contract; she also has to cope with a feisty grandmother who wants a piece
of the action! Rebecca Jane MacDonald is seriously riled and looking for a fight.

First she has the minor problem of getting her grandmother out of police custody. It appears that Annie MacDonald has a few lethal skills of her own.


A recluse with a passion for extreme sports? What..she rock climbs in her attic? This just doesn't make sense.

You're covering the same ground in all three paragraphs: granny is a pistol and Rebecca has a problem. Move on. Let us know who the bad guys are.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I see this a lot in anime series. The heroes always have at least 3-4 major careers going at once. Hence the rockstar/ thief/ assassin/ martial arts/ gourmet chef/ horse whisperer/ ....uh...whatever.

xiqay said...

I'm not getting any sense of real people here. No character is coming through.

I think commenter 1 is on target--this is like anime. All surface and no depth. All "action" and no reality or motivation.

Why should I care about Rebecca or her grandmother? At this point, I don't. First, make me care. Then put them in danger. (Well, that's my suggestion. Possibly different than Miss Snark's refrain to start with hair on fire, but there you have it.)

Good luck.