12.29.2006

HH Com 589

There are times when only coincidence can cure cluelessness.

San Francisco comedian Jay McGuire is one step behind his life when he accepts an invitation to tag along on an overseas business trip with Rudy Carletto, an investment banking pal who has secretly managed affairs with McGuire’s ex-wife and oldest daughter, thirty years apart.

Carletto is on the trip to front for a biotech billionaire with plans to correct national political thought. McGuire inadvertently unravels past and present, dispatches Carletto, lands in prison in Istanbul with the clothes on his back and a standup routine that doesn’t play well in Turkey, exchanges faux conjugal sex for bona fide information with a female Mossad agent, and is literally and figuratively sprung for home as the intersection of betrayer and billionaire winds down the clock on his daughters’ dignity and lives.

This is a run down of events, not a hook.
This is like saying "I have this grammar joke about a panda who eats, fires a gun and then leaves the bar". You've given us the elements of the joke, but not the joke.
Start over.

2 comments:

writtenwyrdd said...

Miss Snark must be reading "Eats, Shoots and Leaves."

I loved that first line. I don't know what the hell it means, but it intrigued me.

The affair mention had me waiting to hear that the daughter wasn't really McGuires, and we have an Oedipal sort of cycle happening.

I don't find the plot elements terribly interesting, though.

xiqay said...

I didn't follow this very well. The language got in the way.

What does it mean that McGuire dispatches Carletto? (Sends him on a mission? or did you mean McGuire separates from him?)

What is the story problem? Is it mcGuire's getting stuck in Turkey?

Is his daughter's life in jeopary? When did that happen.

This didn't make a lot of sense. Nothing in the writing made me want to read it. Sorry.

Good luck.