It's difficult to compose any type of meaningful query letter for this type of book. And none of my stories fits within the 250 word limit, so including one here would be certain form-letter rejection. I suppose I could use the text-message shorthand that's so popular with the younger
generation these days. But somehow I think asking you to "Pls rd my buk its gr8" would result in a midnight visit by a certain white attack poodle intent on permanently removing me from the literary world before I do any more harm.
Although lacking in context, perhaps a short excerpt from one story will help show my style:
After setting up an IV, I was given a briefing by the nurse. One of the things she put a lot of emphasis on was the fact that I would feel very bloated. She kept saying "When you feel a little gas, just push those little bunnies right outta there."
Not for anything, but when I'm visiting a doctor's office to have a tube shoved up my coo for the first time in my life, hearing analogies about the possibility of fuzzy, little bunny rabbits also being stuffed up there doesn't help. I mean really...is there some line of children's books out there that explains flatulence by depicting cartoon bunnies popping out of the rear-ends of little kids, while they blush and go 'Ooopsie'?
If you can't describe your book to me, how am I going to describe it to an editor? The sales force at the publisher? a bookstore buyer? Michiko at a the next Rollerderby match?
Don't pull the old " oh I can't do this but just read my novel and you'll see". That IS an automatic no. Suck it up. It's hard. Do it.
And dear dog, don't open with fart jokes unless you're writing for 8year olds.