12.29.2006

HH Com 610

The Raptor

The boy was buried nearby, and she would find him. She stood on the bluff overlooking a field of wild grass. A dry wind whipped her hair into her eyes, but she didn’t move. She wasn't looking at anything. Her mind was blank, absorbing the sounds and scent around her. Grass swished, a bird shrieked, and from not too far away came the steady sound of traffic on a highway.

After a while she spread her blanket on the ground, lay on it and closed her eyes. Her heart pounded, but soon it would slow and sleep would claim her– and in doing so, would set her mind free.

The ground beneath her was ancient. The Indians called it sacred land Blood had soaked it in the past; blood from tribal wars, from massacres and from hunts. But the earth had not yet been sated. Blood still soaked the ground. She could feel it. It was a strange and terrible certainty.

She shifted, thoughts flitting through her mind. She could sense the policemen standing nearby, just out of sight. She chased those thoughts away and concentrated. There had to be an echo here, an echo of murder. There had to be…she felt it now. The bones in her forearms suddenly started to vibrate. The hair on the back of her neck stood up. She knew she was asleep—at least part of her mind realized she'd fallen asleep. The other part of her mind blinked and woke up.


This isn't a hook, it's a first page. Usual instructions.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Nice writing.

heather said...

granted this isn't a hook but..it hooked me.