12.29.2006

HH Com 611

Playing bocce and drinking beer in late August 2791, Kimo Levernson invites buddy Richard Bruce “Dick” Cheney to join him for a weekend trip to Nantes 1847. Along the way, their time machine runs out of yogurt, causing them to stall out on Interyear-5. Kimo and Dick stumble around, find a bar, and drink themselves sick. Soon Dick wakes from his stupor to find that Kimo and the time machine are missing and he is in the Nixon administration.


Recalling his father’s lectures on the terrible no good Gore presidency—the source of all suffering in the world after national treasure Paris Hilton was vaporized in a freak time travel accident—Cheney realizes he has an opportunity to change history. If he can insure Gore loses the 2000 race, he can guarantee that 770 years later, he will never have to endure dad’s rants.


Excited that he has finally found his life's calling, Cheney dedicates the next thirty years to the task. Will the assistance of alien pinochle player Donald Rumsfeld be enough? Or will he have to enlist both foul-mouthed mob boss Ralph Nader and the secretly Republican robot Joseph Lieberman? And what does the Iran-Contra scandal have to do with any of this?


oh dear dog, this IS funny.
It's not exactly a hook, and dog knows it's all going to come down to the entire novel not just the first pages, but hell yes I'd read this, if only as the antitode to ...um...other stuff.

15 comments:

Inkwolf said...

I doubt you'll get away with it, but if you DO get published, I'd be happy to snigger my way through this one...

Anonymous said...

It's funny.

I'm sure we'll all feel better after we read it. Well, all of us voting blue.

J. Carson Black said...

I love this, too. Don't know if my red friends would...

Anonymous said...

Dick Cheney as Marty McFly. I love it. Are there DeLoreans involved?
Of course, this is such a stretch. Everyone knows that a single container of Dannon is good for jigowatts sufficient to get them into the Carter administration.

As M.S. said, this is all going to come down to execution. Don't you DARE disappoint or I will hunt you down like a quail.

Rhonda Stapleton said...

LOLOL I agree. Too funny...I think it's clever...

I Said said...

The idea's great, but I'm also not sure you can name names like this.

Helen said...

I'm not American, and I don't like reading about American politics - but I'd definitely want to see more of this!

Michele said...

hehe I love the time machine that runs on yogurt!

I'm looking forward to the pages.

Anonymous said...

This is my favourite so far! Very well done.

A Paperback Writer said...

Oh my. If you can't get this published, author, please post it somewhere on the internet so I can read it.

Anonymous said...

I love the idea here, and it is funny. I'm not sure I'd shell out the clams for it though.

Maybe we need a way to laugh at all the ugliness we've seen in this administration. Or maybe we'd feel too guilty laughing when thousands have lost their lives.

I dunno.

good luck.

j h woodyatt said...

Hmmm. Bill And Ted's Excellent Administration. Where have I seen this idea before?

Ryan/611 said...

Thank you all for your feedback, encouragement, etc.

"Dick Cheney Saves Paris" was my fourth NaNo novel, written this past November for National Novel Writing Month. Of course I'd love to see it published before the next presidential election (might not be so timely and/or amusing when Cheney has moved on to other..um, ventures).

Thanks again.

blogless_troll said...

Don't get me wrong, this is funny, but in 5 years it'll be like telling a Clinton blowjob joke. I'd ditch the politics and stick with the yogurt. OR... if the politics really turns your crank, change the names and emphasize the characteristics you want to lambast and let the reader make the connections as to who's who. Whatever you do, the yogurt powered time machine's a winner.

Em said...

I'd love to read this!