12.30.2006

HH Com 625

Table-dancing club is the right place to meet the wrong people.

Typical twenty something from a middle class family, Fausta with an unfinished art history degree and a string of loser lovers, fails life par excellence. Moving country and settling in London for her sabbatical year exposes her to horny employers, sperm aftertaste and a passport marriage to Mickie, the crack addicted publisher.

No job is too small for Fausta, who without a work permit, needs to pay off Mickie’s debts. Love is in the air and so is money, when she gets a job at Zsa-Zsa’s, gentlemen’s club, just of Piccadilly Circus. Korean punters are ready to stash cash in her undies, which is enough to make Fausta shiver in her G-string.

Table-dancing club is the right place to meet the wrong people, yet Mr. Right pops out quoting
renaissance biographers and Fausta is smitten off her feet. But, it’s the ‘aristocat’ Polly who picks her up and Fausta’s infatuation with Polly brings a waft of zing to her love life. Until she realises that Mr. Right and Polly are more than just related.

Love, Fausta thinks, should come with an instruction manual.

Graffiti is a 50 000-word offbeat, character driven narrative fiction, aimed at the audience of over 18 year olds. (yea, Grandmother Snark is sure to want it)

You have one good sentence: Table-dancing club is the right place to meet the wrong people.
The rest is pretty zippy writing, but it's about a topic I'm almost as bored with as serial killers. You're going to have to bring something to the ..ahem...table, that gives this fresh persepective.

6 comments:

December Quinn said...

If she's married Micky the crackhead, she doesn't need a work permit--her spousal visa gives her the right to work.

Of course, she wouldn't be able to get married in the UK without a fiance visa.

If she got married before heading to the UK she'd be turned back at immigration without the spousal visa.

If she headed to the UK for a year, with a return ticket home at the end of that year, she'd be turned back at immigration. You can only stay 6 months on the visa waiver program. And they don't even have to let you stay that long if they don't want to, and if they suspect you're trying to settle they'll send you home. To stay for 6 months she would need proof of funds, an itinerary...all kinds of things.

I'm sorry to be pedantic but it is NOT possible to just jaunt on over to England to live, and it drives me nuts when books and movies imply that it is.

(Of course, if Fausta is from an EU country it's different, but then she wouldn't need a "passport marriage" and she still would need a visa.)

Anonymous said...

I'm a sinner.

The typo *just of Piccadilly*
- should be *just off Piccadilly* of course.

Mea culpa.

I was scared shit to class this as a memoir, since Miss Snark detests them. But, hell, it didn't come out too bad...

Thanks for your time Miss Snark.

'No 625'

Anonymous said...

December Quinn

thanks for the comment.

Sorry to prove you wrong. I ended up in Britain after getting an au pair visa, got married 6 months later to 'a crack addicted publisher' and no, I could not work, 'cause both my passport and my husband's passport stayed with Home Office in Croydon for almost a year (backlog of applicants, you see), before anyone got back to me and offered me the 'right to work.

Heck of a long sentence, I know.

To get to the dire details, you would have to read the damned thing.

'No 625'

December Quinn said...

So you're not from the US, I take it, because an au pair visa isn't available to US citizens. (An au pair visa does give one the right to work as an au pair, btw, so I guess you left your au pair job after your fraud marriage, and couldn't get another one?)

This must also have been a while ago. You are no longer permitted to marry in the UK without a fiance visa (as of last year--even two US citizens planning to marry here and live in the US must have a special visa) and you can't enter the UK as a married person without a spousal visa (as of last year, I believe) or apply for a spousal visa from within the UK as of several years ago.

Since the hook didn't mention this as a memoir or a story that didn't take place "now", I assumed the MC was subject to current UK immigration law, under which there are inaccuracies in the book.

Trust me. You may have done all of this several years ago. I did it last year and used to be a moderator on a website/forum for US immigrants to the UK.

You can now make an appointment at Croyden and have your visa in a day, btw, and visas from British consulates in the US take about a week. Citizenship still takes quite a while, but most visas (the ones you can apply for from within the UK, at least) carry a much shorter waiting time these days!

Anonymous said...

Nope, I'm from Eastern Europe.
Boring, I know.

'I did this' indeed some years ago.
12 to be precise.

As I said, I'm not comfortable enough to call this a memoir as (although I have featured in one British writer's book two years ago) I'm not even a 'Y' class celebrity, forget 'C' or 'D'.

Due to the 'voice' of the story I prefer calling it 'offbeat fiction'.

Anonymous said...

"smitten off her feet"?

"waft of zing"?

Those are weird phrases, and arguably just-plain incorrect English.

A lot of the commas seemed to be in the wrong place, too.

Is "aristocat" a typo or intentional?

I'll note that if the story had wowed me, I'd gush about that before I started sniveling about the punctuation. Sorry, but this hook did not wow me.