12.30.2006

HH Com 626

In 1870, the house at the end of Angel Lane took the life of Maryam Carter and the soul of Emma Hopkins. In the autumn of 2006, two of the Bellows children will discover seven journals, and with them the history of misery and death that underlies each stone of their new London home.

From the impressions gathered by seven generations of girls, as they dealt both with the house's influence and such disparate external events as The Blitz and the Swinging Sixties, Gareth and Ocean realize that the house has been affecting the behaviour of their family, and especially that of their older sister, Sybil, who is wasting away.

The two teenagers begin a race for Sybil's life, haunted by the shadows of the eight girls claimed by the house, and not being able to tell whether these apparitions are trying to assist them, or whether they are tools of the house. The sensitive Ocean shares a strange bond with Maryam, the first victim, the strongest of the spirits, and as she and Gareth unearth more and more of the house's secrets, the suspicion grows in her that she may be called upon to make the ultimate sacrifice. (Renovation?)

Creepy house, addlepated ghosts. Yawn.
There's just not anything scary here.
If you write a creepy ghosty book, shouldn't the hook offer up a tidbit of suspense or fear?

4 comments:

ObiDonWan said...

I wonder if Miss Snark has been doing this too much, too long. This seems potentially scary to me.

Cheryl Mills said...

What struck me were the cliches. Angel Lane? Seven journals and seven generations of girls? Sybil? All of those conjur up memories of other stories. Wouldn't you rather the reader stay focused on yours?

And I can't imagine going through life with a name like Ocean Bellows.

Anonymous said...

I love ghost stories but I'm getting a bit tired of the way these journals are always turning up so conveniently.

Anonymous said...

Ocean, Gareth, and Maryam are all such odd names. These names remind me of soap opera characters, and I'm someone that likes unusual names.

And isn't Maryam spelled Miriam? Spelled Maryam the name reads like Mary-yam, as in Thanksgiving yams. Something to consider.

You might want to try using more conventional names and see if the work has a better flow to it...

Or at least use ONE odd name, not three.