HH Com 658

Fonda Hallihan comes from a nuclear family—a nuclear fallout family. Her mom, a self-proclaimed “pottery savant,” mocks traditional values and joyfully scatters a troop of shell-shocked husbands across the country. At eighteen, Fonda wants to begin adult life, but Mom still treats her like a lump of clay she’s molding in her own reckless image. When Mom goes too far, all Fonda can do is flee, though she must abandon her little brother to Mom’s unnatural brand of parenting.

Fonda returns to rural Pennsylvania, to her childhood home and Bruce, her favorite pseudo-father. Hoping to rebuild the stable life she had before Mom screwed things up, Fonda finds folks have moved on: sweetheart Linc, who once offered his artificial Super Bowl ring and eternal fidelity, no longer wants to play house, and one-time best friend, Jodi, is now a two-time mother trapped in a “common-law relationship” with her legal guardian. The only person who hasn’t moved on is Bruce, who uses Fonda to lure Mom back into his life. Fleeing again, Fonda falls in with Shimmer, a Taser-wielding, pheromone-wearing, modern-day pirate who offers Fonda bunk space in her soda-can RV.

Armed only with cell phone and wisdom from a Mandatory Life Management class taught by a teacher who used the textbook for biceps curls, Fonda faces evictions, betrayals, spiritual pyramid schemes, street brawls with diaper-crazy moms, and her own far-too-easily-induced gag reflex. Ultimately, she must survive Mom’s increasingly selfish designs and mold a family she can manage.


Use the xyz to get the elements you need in place. Then start over.


Anonymous said...

:Tired editor:


Like in Henry, Peter, Jane, Briget, etc.?

The name's got too much baggage attached. The first thing I'd ask you to do is change it. So would all my friends.

Anonymous said...

I can't even begin to fathom what genre this would be in. If this is chick lit, where's the lighthearted fun? If this is literary fiction I'm very not interested. It's not crime because there's no murder. It certainly isn't fantasy. Maybe horror? Her life is prety horrible. It sounds like a thinly veiled memoir but i'm not sure. What the heck IS THIS?

Anonymous said...

Re the name: I once knew a woman whose first name was Fonda. She would have been born in the mid-to-late 1940s, well before the current "every name must be unique" fad.

Kat said...

I think this sounds fast and funny. But then, I'm a sucker for amusingly disfunctional. :)

Inkwolf said...

"street brawls with diaper-crazy moms"

I'd love to hear more about THAT scene. :p

Fuchsia Groan said...

I'm guessing Mom named her Fonda because she was a big fan of Jane for her antiwar stance and aerobics video. Which is a joke in itself.

I think there's an audience for this-- children of flaky hippie parents ("pottery savant," hee). However, the hook is all over the place. You need to stop enumerating wacky characters and focus on Fonda's conflict. (Does she have a conflict other than being her mom's antagonist? Is it really as simple as hippie mom equals bad, sensible daughter equals good? Because that would be pretty simplistic for a character-driven novel.)

Anonymous said...

I agree with Fuchsia. I liked the premise, but thought the hook was scattered.

"Her favourite pseudo-father" is a keeper. Loved that.

Twill said...

I see Madonna as the mom.