12.16.2006

HH Com 72

Being the youngest daughter of the Devil has never been easy. Daphne's father has little time for her, her mother, little interest, and her status in the upper echelon separates her from the
working-class demons that populate Lucifer's metropolis. Confined to the family high-rise, she amuses herself by collecting costume jewelery and plastic memorabilia, but when her brother and only confidante goes missing, life in the restrictive city of Pandemonium becomes intolerable. With plans to locate her brother and thus win their mother's elusive affection, Daphne sets out for Earth—and finds it larger and more chaotic than she imagined, a dazzling expanse of noise, dirt, and random violence.

Despite her initial bewilderment, she navigates the mortal world with growing fascination, gaining a grudging ally when she purchases a dying boy from her father's minions. Unfortunately, Lucifer's agents are not the only creatures on the prowl, and Daphne soon finds herself in a reluctant standoff with a few of Heaven's more dogmatic officials. Now, equipped with a straight razor and unshakable optimism in the world's virtue, she must evade a demon-eating monster, save her brother from an angelic zealot, and rally the goodness in
people who have been told all their lives that they are irredeemable.


bingo

36 comments:

angelle said...

Some of the others were good.

But this, I love!

Southern Writer said...

Funny stuff! I'd read it.

Peter said...

This is definitely one I'd read, WTG!

ello said...

This is the best one so far. Awesome. I would absolutely read this novel if I picked it up at the store.

Can't wait to see the first pages!

LindaBudz said...

Double Wow!

First Wow: I can't believe I've been away from my computer for only a few short hours and you've already gotten to #72 ... you are a critiquing machine, Miss S!

Second Wow: What a great (and well written) hook this is ... fantasy isn't usually my thing, but I'd read it.

verification word: ybaza ... close cousin of yowza!

Anonymous said...

Wow. I would totally read this. It sounds fascinating!

BernardL said...

Great hook! I read a lot of comic books, in addition to the books without pictures I consume, and this sounds a bit like the comic book character Devilina. In the comics, Devilina is Satan’s sister. If you Google Devilina for some research, any misconstrued comparisons between your character and Devilina could then be avoided in query letters. On the other hand, what are the chances an agent or publisher ever heard of Devilina. :)

Anonymous said...

Hell, I want to read this!

Um, no pun intended.

-Nancy

Anonymous said...

If the book is as good as the hook I would definately read this.

LJCohen said...

I would buy this in a heartbeat. Sharp 'hook' and deft writing.

Nicely done, author.

Anonymous said...

A new way to look at Satan--that he's more virtuous than lovely us. That's good.

jeanjeanie said...

I'd like to read this. Good job.

Anonymous said...

This is beautiful!

Another nod to why 'Villians By Necessity' and 'Good Omens'-type books do well. (That, and good writing!)

Inez said...

Can't wait to read it---

Anonymous said...

In Miss Snark parlence, does "Bingo" mean send pages?

cm allison said...

I agree, totally WTG! Would most definately read, even if possibly a YA. (But then I like some YA.)

Anonymous said...

This was good!

Good luck to the writer!

Anon-in-a-million

Anonymous said...

What was truly wonderful was how easily it read...I've read quite a number of these now, and NOT ONCE did I have to go back and reread for clarification. Smoooooth like Miss Snark's fav drink!

Best of luck with the story!
Deb

2readornot said...

This stands out from so many others because of the tight writing -- it's in a different class, imo. Well done!

Christina said...

You hooked me! I'd definitely like to read this :) Best of luck!

HawkOwl said...

Hmmmm... It kinda feels like a Perrier that's gone flat. You're like "wow, a Perrier! I'm gonna enjoy this!" But then you drink it and the fizz is gone so it's just water.

I'd look at the pages and hope the actual writing is a little more peppy and a little less generic.

What I like the most is really that Miss Snark and I both liked something. I was starting to think we had completely opposite tastes.

Anonymous said...

As great as this is, and as much as I wanna read this book, I can't get over one thing - dear dog, hasn't anyone seen Little Nicky? I know it's not Citizen Kane, but that successful but shallow movie has a very similar premise to this. Yanno, youngest child of Be'elzebub goes to our World in search of an older brother, has crazy adventures there with oddball sidekick. All we need is a bit with Hitler and a pineapple!!!

Don't get me wrong, I'm not knocking this great hook, but such a similar setup can;t be ignored, surely?

Jeb said...

Hell, yeah!

Smooth, confident writing. An unlikely heroine with a pair of compelling motives for starting the big journey. A plot as twisted as Westlake's 'Humans'.

AND the names are pronounceable.

I'd be expecting a lot from these pages.

Anonymous said...

This is the only hook that drove me to comment in the lovely Miss Snark's blog.

Excellent idea, excellent execution. You know what I liked best? The straight razor. I REALLY want to know more about that.

As for it having the same plot as a certain Adam Sandler movie...although I seem to have missed the singular life experience of seeing the movie, I have a feeling the two wouldn't be anything alike at all, devil be damned. :0D

Good luck!

Xiqay said...

I liked this one a lot. Glad to see Miss Snark give this a bingo.

ERiCA said...

Sounds quirky, witty and entertaining... Love it!

Dr. Daniel said...

Great, 'what is evil is now good and what is good is now evil.' Yeah, that's a lesson I'm sure will help everyone. Yeah, right.

To hell with Snark's 'bingo.'That sucks.

Virginia Miss said...

It hooked me, too! Good writing, a clever, fresh premise, and a well-stated hook.

I found the last sentence a tad confusing, but everything else was so great I can easily get past that.

Kudos.

luna_the_cat said...

I found this sentence confusing:
"Daphne's father has little time for her, her mother, little interest, and her status in the upper echelon separates her from the working-class demons that populate Lucifer's metropolis."
Who has little interest in what??

Aside from that...oh yeah, I want to read this too! And the line about the straight razor is an *excellent* "hook"...

luna_the_cat said...

I found this sentence confusing:
"Daphne's father has little time for her, her mother, little interest, and her status in the upper echelon separates her from the working-class demons that populate Lucifer's metropolis."
Who has little interest in what??

But that aside...oh yeah. I want to read this too! (And the line about the straight razor make a *great* "hook".)

Anonymous said...

I was hooked at the first sentance. Well done!

Anonymous said...

Can everyone other then MS. S. stop using "dog" for "god"? It just feels like a whole lot of ass kissing to me.

thraesja said...

"Daphne's father has little time for her, her mother, little interest, and her status in the upper echelon separates her from the working-class demons that populate Lucifer's metropolis."

Daphne's mother has little interest in Daphne. I loved this sentence, but I can see where Luna might have gotten caught up. I can't figure out how to rephrase it without losing the rhythm, but perhaps there is a way.

I am a bit worried that agents might find it too similar to Little Nicky, but I imagine that this is way better than that crappy movie.

Good luck #72.

ghostmommylady said...

Wow.

I've been reading these hooks for a while, and I've gotten to the point where I just skip down to Miss Snark's commentary because I'm BORED.

I wasn't bored reading this one. I want to know the rest of the story.

Paul said...

Can she make her eyes go red?

God said...

Author, that was a GREAT hook. Such a story is the downside to being Satan's daughter, and his YOUNGEST daughter to boot!

But how many of you and your siblings can dance on the head of pin? Hmm?

GOD ALMIGHTY

(just call me Chuck, if you must get personal.)