HH Com 79

"You lived in New Orleans?" he asked me, lobbing the question like a knuckleball.
"Years ago."
"Still know anyone?" He templed his fingers on the desk.
I touched my lips, something I'd picked up from Jill. It's never good to acquire tics, but Tim seemed too anxious to pick up on anything.
“I don’t think so. Not after the storm.”
“But you might?”
“People come and go in New Orleans,” I said. “But even with the heat, it's a town that gets in your veins.” I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes. “Not much changes. I guess some of them are still there."
"What kind of people?" he asked.
It was an odd question and it stopped me. "The same kind of people I know here," I said finally.
He shifted uneasily in his chair. "So you'd know people you could do business with?"

Their business is drugs. Seven years after fleeing a drug charge in New Orleans, Ben Butler is asked to return for Mardi Gras. The stakes: fifty thousand dollars, money Ben needs badly. He returns with his girlfriend, Jill, to an unknown New Orleans, changed by the hurricane and healed enough to hurt. They’re helped by Claire, a Tulane law student and pill pusher. As they try to set up a deal, Ben loses Jill to Claire—and himself to the city. Before the end, they’ll fight, fuck, and kill—and learn more about New Orleans than they ever wanted to know.

Well I already think I've read more than I ever want to know. What is it with y'all and lesbian love bunnies today? The idea that the major plot point you mention is boy loses girl to girl is just lame.

You want to focus on what I think might be your actual plot: who asked him to go back and why.

New Orleans can certainly be a character in the story but you'd do well to tell me why I want to read about these people.


Anonymous said...

1. Knuckleballs aren't lobbed. Ask someone familiar with baseball.
2. I don't believe I've ever read a blurb in which the characters "fight, fuck, and kill".
On the other hand, it might make a good title for the book.

Anonymous said...

I dunno. I think this could be an interesting noir if the writer really knows the city, before and after "the storm." Not crazy about "healed enough to hurt," but it does have alliteration, I guess.

HawkOwl said...

I didn't get as far as the lesbian love bunnies. The style was so belaboured, I wouldn't read it no matter it's about.

Anonymous said...

New Orleans, New Orleans, New Orleans! Why is this noirish stuff always set in New Orleans? What's wrong with Cheektowaga? It gets dark here, too.