12.16.2006

HH Com 86

Regina Peyton has a background in publishing and a secret flair for entertaining people with erotic short stories, but she also has a mortgage, an unemployed husband who is a dud in bed, and a new job as vice president of marketing for the PRO Chemical Company. Even her expensive Willy Wonka hair cut can't save her from the abuse she faces as the lone female executive in a male arena, which climaxes during a business meeting at a bar when her intoxicated boss grabs her face with his palms, pulls her against his body so she can actually feel the massive erection between his legs and forces her to explain why she’s the right person for the marketing job, while five male co-workers crease their brows and stare at the ceiling.

Though she would love to quit and disappear into the world of her published erotica, it won't pay the bills. So while she plots revenge against her slimy boss, she conceives the idea of starting a small editorial service and takes on a private client who claims to be psychic and only writes what the “spirits” guide her to write. It doesn't take long to deduce the loony client has no talent and she’s about as psychic as Regina’s pet poodle. But the weird gig helps Regina to realize how much she actually likes her new marketing job, and gives her the assurance she needs to set her erection-proud boss up for a huge, well-deserved fall.


Cute.
Hilarious.
I'd be laughing harder but I have 605 of these to go.

23 comments:

Anonymous said...

I read that first line as if she had a flair for entertianing people who themselves had erotic short stories. Didn't make much sense until I reread, but made me laugh.

This isn't my kind of story, but I got a kick out of the hook.

RT

Laurie Mann said...

This is my favorite one as well so far (though I laughed a little harder at the Harry Potteresque "villainy" piece).

Good luck; I think this could be a very entertaining novel. Feel free to drop me a line if you'd like a random reader.

Jodi Meadows said...

I never know if these kinda positive responses are winners or not. My heart's all aflutter for these people! How do they know if they send pages?

Beth said...

The tension kinda unwound there at the end. Disappointing that the psychic didn't turn out to be psychic and that the big climax was Regina deciding she liked her job after all.

Anonymous said...

Uh. I don't get why this is funny.

Horsefeathers said...

I would dump the psychic. That part doesn't make any sense or add anything to the story. Stories about office politics do seem to work, though, and do it forever. It has been how many years since Michael Crichton wrote Disclosure and now we have a new best seller called Company Man. At least this one does not make the idiotic mistake Crichton did in Disclosure in asking us to believe Michael Douglas would turn down a fling with Demi Moore. These stories need male bad bosses and female victim employees for the public to accept them.

randomsome1 said...

Not really feeling it.

when her intoxicated boss grabs her face with his palms instead of with his feet, pulls her against his body so she can actually feel the massive erection between his legs as opposed to the little one coming out of his arm and forces her to explain why she’s the right person for the marketing job, while five male co-workers crease their brows and stare at the ceiling and while she doesn't force his balls so far up into his abdominal cavity that he'd have a better chance of digesting them than getting them to drop again.

Disliking the main character's helplessness and the author's verbosity. The sentence reads that the MFC goes along with her boss's demand, not that she protested/fought/got away. You don't get high up in a company by being nice. And hello, lawsuit? In a bar full of people there'd be witnesses.

Though, there's really nothing like editing crap writing to make you feel a little better about your crap working situation.

HawkOwl said...

Horsefeathers - are you kidding? That's exactly why I loved Disclosure.

But as for the hook, no. Not because you can't write, but because I'm not interested in what you're writing. Good luck with it.

Xiqay said...

I sort of like this, but it's inconceivable to me that a woman has succeeded in getting a good marketing job without the gumption or know-how to deal with sexual harrassment. So I'm not believing the character.

This would be a no in my book. (Once again messing up my syncronity with Miss Snark. Phooey.)

Leggs said...

The "cute" and "hilarious" seemed quite sarcastic to me. I do NOT think that this was positive feedback.

Anonymous said...

Regina suddenly turns the tables on her boss by kicking him squarely in his massive erection, then backflips out of the room, yodeling like Xena on uppers. She cleans out the joint bank account and takes off on a comedic road trip with her good friend, Thelma.

Anonymous said...

I think it is kind of cool. Theres alot of funny books out there that are making it in to film. This can be one...i don't see why not.

I think it is funny.

Dave said...

Taking revenge on a bad boss does not a book make.

HawkOwl said...

Dave, Dave, Dave... How many copies has The Devil Wears Prada sold so far? ;)

Virginia Miss said...

I agree with Beth about the loss of tension. Cut "It doesn't take long to deduce" line. Just say "The weird gig gives her the assurance she needs to set her erection-proud boss..."

Also, do some editing. Some annoyances:
he "grabs her face" WITH HER PALMS (were we to imagine him doing this with his feet?) Do you need to specify that his erection is BETWEEN HIS LEGS?
Just say "when her intoxicated boss pulls her against his massive erection"

Susan Helene Gottfried said...

What's a Willy Wonka haircut?

I can see this being either as hysterically funny as Prada or falling on its face. No middle ground. And I'm curious to see which way it goes (and rooting for the hysterically funny).

luna_the_cat said...

...Yeah, I'm so wondering why she didn't just slap that boy with a sexual harassment lawsuit...

Definitely too wordy, and there are some aspects of her behavior that simply don't make sense to me.

Laurie Mann said...

Susan,

A Willie Wonka cut is a very blunt cut with the hair just hanging by the face.

http://chocolatefactorymovie.warnerbros.com/photos.html

I'm in violent agreement with you on this one.

pws said...

Well, it made me think of the Gene Wilder Willy Wonka, which would be quite a cut on a woman.

Anonymous said...

I keep coming back to this, and several times I've read about lawsuits...Sure, sue, sue sue...isn't that what America does? But when you have a certain lifestyle, with a huge mortgage and payments on a new Jag (and this is just the tip), you don't take a chance with a six figure job and file a lawsuit. That's for Norma Rae and Erin Brokovich. Execs don't typically take chances on suing corporate, especially if they are ambitious players. Corporate American is powerful, and you don't fuck around with them if you're trying to build a career, unless you are willing to scale down your life considerably. At best there are buy-outs and settlements, but then you take a chance at becoming blacklisted.

A lawsuit storyline for something like this (I'm assuming) would be a Lifetime Movie of the Week, starring Diane Ladd. In the real world you don't get ahead in corporate by being anything less than a player. When your boss makes forty thousand a month (yes, folks, there are people who make that kind of money), and you'd like his job someday, you're not going to get it by calling Perry Mason and filing a lawsuit against him.

I think the author of this hook should have been more clear about the type of lifestyle Regina has, and whether or not she's willing to give it up.

luna_the_cat said...

Hmm...the last "Anonymous's" point is well taken.

Bear in mind, I live in the UK -- thinking about it, I suspect that it is a great deal easier to bring suit against someone for sexual harassment within the EU.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, boy howdy! ATTENTION Wal-Mart shoppers, we got dick here... (was wondering if we'd leave lesbian bushland.) Since her hub is a dud, fuck this hoss 'till he's beggin' for mercy and screamin' for more. Corner office, here she comes.

Haste yee back ;-O

(now I'll have to go to confession. A bottle of absinthe, couple of magic mushrooms and I'll GIT-R-DONE!)

Ryan Field said...

Anonymous said...
Yeah, boy howdy! ATTENTION Wal-Mart shoppers, we got dick here... (was wondering if we'd leave lesbian bushland.) Since her hub is a dud, fuck this hoss 'till he's beggin' for mercy and screamin' for more. Corner office, here she comes.

Anon, you read my mind. I don't know about anyone else, but I think this comment was one of the best hooks so far. I can't speak for the author, but it sounds like Regina is not getting much dick, and when it finally comes her way she doesn't know what to do with it. And this could be the underlying theme of the entire novel.