12.16.2006

HH Com 90

The day the ferret fell from the sky, crashing into a field just outside of Chugwater village is one he'd been looking forward to for a long time. The impact leaves him feeling quite dazed - and stark naked, but still he smiles. He is whole again, and this is his first small step toward fixing the big mistake he'd made so long ago, a mistake so dreadful that his mind had split in two, going off to live two separate lives.

Powerful creatures such as the ferret don't go unnoticed, however. The leader of the Urknods, Umperor Rodgarr, has sent his War General to capture him. He plans on using the animal in his own devious schemes, but three children find the ferret moments before the General shows up and inadvertently save the day by running off with the ferret in a conveniently located space-ship. The unexpected, yet dull journey through space soon becomes a nutty dash across the galaxy to save their village when it's dumped on a comet that's heading for a black
hole. The ferret seems hell-bent on sabotaging their mission, and slowly it becomes clear to the children that he is no ordinary animal. He's the legendary Time Ferret, with his own agenda and his own deadline to meet - bringing an entire planet back to life is never easy,
especially when you've got thousands of light-years to travel, half the galaxy chasing after you, and just a few hours left to live.


ha.
very funny.
There's a special place in hell reserved for people who tease Miss Snark during a crapometer.


17 comments:

KingM said...

Either I just stepped off the train at Nitwit Central, or this one is not a goof. Sounds like a real (albeit weird) hook to me.

Anonymous said...

I didn't get the impression the writer meant this as a joke. That said, a ferret fell from the sky here. Not just any ferret, but a powerful one with an agenda and a deadline? You are either retiring from a Starbucks in about 40 years or destined for superstardom, dear writer. Pass the half & half while I decide.

Writerious said...

Sounds like the "plot" of a video game. However, a Time Ferret might work, if the writer has the talent of, say, Terry Pratchett.

Jodi Meadows said...

I have seven ferrets. They're all dazed and naked--all the time!

They all have agendas, too, but mostly for things like scratching the carpet and washing each other's ears.

It's got potential to be a cute idea, but the hook is so unfocused I don't know what to think.

Anonymous said...

If this is supposed to be a humorous fantasy, then the hook ought to sound funny -- right now it doesn't.

If it's serious, the ferret thing is going to take a lot to pull off. Because right now you sound like you and reality might not be good friends.

Anonymous said...

This is like an adult swim cartoon, right? Because "dazed - and stark naked" doesn't work in a childrens (anything.)

Dazed maybe but not naked, unless he is Pokeman. Now that is a naked yellow whatever, ya' dig?

Inkwolf said...

Naked is okay for ferrets...

I've seen kids' books about cats from space, skunks from space, and cows from space. They usually involve a UFO crashing in current times, though. Starting out with a science fiction world where kids zip around in rockets makes it different....sounds sorta like E.T. except in the future with a Time Ferret. You would think that grown-up technology would be up to the challenge of stopping a kiddy rocket...

In total honestly, this plot sounds as if it was inspired by a weird dream. That's where the wilsest plots come from sometims, but this one needs some grounding before it will make sense to the waking brain.

HawkOwl said...

I thought it was for real. It doesn't include any sucking-up-to-Miss-Snark elements.

That being said, it sounds like Watership Down meets Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and their love child inherits only the worst of each.

Sonarbabe said...

My first thought of a naked ferret was my kids' cartoon show, Kim Possible with the naked mole rat. Sorry, dear author, as humorous (if that's the intent) as this sounds, I couldn't get past that.

Anonymous said...

"destined for superstardom"

- You know I'm printing that out to stick on my wall now :)

Ta everyone!

Dave said...

Oh no! it's the love child of Carrot-top and Charlie Manson from outerspace.

Seriously, no one reads this type of fantasy unless it's dolled up a fanfic in the Star Trek universe.

Janette Rallison said...

Lions, and tiger, and bears and falling naked ferrets . . .oh my!

Anonymous said...

Okay, it's just weird enough that I would read this. Really.

Daniel Barlow said...

Reads a lot like something by Robert Rankin.

batgirl said...

Robert Rankin is exactly who I thought of, too. Maybe this is UK, with the ferret and all?

Anonymous said...

I doubt this one is to be taken seriously! Even dear Miss S noticed it immediately.

Anonymous said...

I wasn’t out to tease; this was indeed a genuine attempt at a hook, a hook that I won’t defend for an instant, but I can explain a little:

It probably doesn’t make any sense because I was working off an early draft that doesn’t make any sense either. I wasn’t taking it (the plot) too seriously; I thought the self-derision and overstatement were fairly obvious. (I never expected poor Miss. Snark to get so many responses; I wouldn’t have bothered her with this if I had. I’m glad she passed over it so dismissively). Having said that, I didn’t want to waste the opportunity for a second so I brought up the things I was still hazy over – the naked thing and the black hole to name two. This is on top of the challenge of writing a good hook, of course.

This project is something I’ve spent 18months+ working on, it’s my Baby and I wanted to keep the real deal hidden up my sleeve for now. I’m painfully aware of how much effort is going into making it all fall into place. Having said that, the feedback in the comment trail has been extremely useful, and I thank you all.


"He plans on using the animal..."
-Hooking aside, there's bad writing here, absolutely. You're all too kind :)

The Author