When seventeen-year-old Alexis escapes death from the religious cult that raised her, she doesn’t know she’s only half human. She’s never been allowed to make her own decisions, drive a car, or spend time alone. Hitchhiking down the highway at midnight disguised as a boy, she’s picked up by Gideon, a shapeshifter with problems of his own. Alexis finds a friend in Gideon and together they discover the cult’s leader is a banished god named Nassaner, who derives his power from willing human sacrifices. He’s spent years brainwashing his human followers and since one of them is Alexis’s own mother, Nassaner will stop at nothing to get her back. If she is to survive, Alexis must learn to stop running and trust in her ability to think for herself.
(that's your hook--the rest is query letter)
Although this is my first novel, my short stories have appeared in Review and Herald’s Insight Magazine (student contest winner) Horizon, Hope for Women, Angels on Earth, Aoife’s Kiss, Beyond Centauri, Allegory and Peridot Books. THE PRIDE is a young adult urban fantasy, complete at 59,000 words and set in Northern Wyoming. If you would like to see more of this novel, please contact me using the information provided below.
You've confused character development with plot. Plus if this God Gone Wrong only chomps the willing..why does he want her back? Is she the only person who knows how to make salt?
Back to work.