HHCom 22

Someone needs to fix the world.

It’s the end of the 21st century, and Nikolai Barusachev knows exactly how to change things. In his new world, people won’t starve by the millions, or die for lack of medicine. They’ll be free to pursue their own goals, rather than what their government forces them to want. But those who don’t share his brilliant vision are needless obstructions, and Nikolai is willing to do
anything to remove them. Giving up everything he knows and loves, sacrificing friends and family– all regrettably necessary.

(lose this)
He’s spent his life crafting the image of a loyal public servant to his government. But it’s time to shed that identity and emerge as a leader. It’s time to make the entire world take notice of him.

(and this)
If war is inevitable, as Nikolai knows it must be, then he’ll make sure he’s the one that wins. He’ll build an army, and through careful propagandizing around the world, he’ll recruit – or coerce – people in high places to his cause. Country after country will fall as his moles emerge to destroy their own governments.

(keep everything from here down)
They call him a terrorist.

But he knows he’s the savior of mankind. In the wake of the devastation, he will usher in an era of unprecedented peace.

If millions must die, that’s just the price that must be paid.

Then you need to focus on the person who's going to oppose him cause right now all you have is "Hannibal likes to eat people" and you're missing what makes the book scary as shit to us: Clarice's view.

Giving monsters demonstrably Russian names is a cliche. I think he should be named something you don't associate with evil...George. Or RickyBobby.


Kate said...

That's actually really helpful. I'd been freaking out about what you MIGHT say, and this comes as a rather pleasant surprise.

Anonymous said...

*cough* http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nikita_Khrushchev

character's name ripped off, maybe?

Elektra said...

"Giving monsters demonstrably Russian names is a cliche. I think he should be named something you don't associate with evil...George. Or RickyBobby."

A friend of mine is creating a video game that involves zombies. I keep trying to convince her that the zombies should have a new twist, that they should be sophiticated, Frasier zombies. They plot world domination over wine tastings.

And now back on topic...

Writerious said...

Actually, I do associate evil with George. But I'll leave it at that and not continue in a political vein.

Crystal Charee said...

RickyBobby! Love that. This is interesting. I avoid horror like the plague (the plague!) but I'm intrigued. I'd probably take a chance on this one if I found it in a bookstore (or library, more likely).

HawkOwl said...

I take it you've never heard of Khan Noonien Singh.

Anonymous said...

Nope won't buy this one. It would take me endless hours trying to pefectly pronounce "Nikolai Barusachev." The name ruins it for me...change it to bob, chico or yaya but not "nikolay baruchevy." you see I'm all mixed up. Can't get passed the first sentence. Sorry, I suck at this Hook thing too.

goblin said...

Not bad, Kate! I liked your rewrite.

word veri. FryVJ - a pretty hostile reaction to MTV, I think.

Anonymous said...

I'd rather read a bok from Nikolai's POV than from the POV of whoever opposes him, but that's just me. *s*

Anonymous said...

I don't like anything that makes me frown and this "If millions must die" makes me frown.

Down with all the unbelievers!

JPD said...

Electra? Ask your friend how I can become a zombie name for his game, please!

Jay Peedey. Or perhaps Jay P'Dee?

JPD (ruminating amid the swirling slush)