Now a vigilante by means of hired assassin, Felicia has spent the last five years training, perfecting her craft and surviving the underground world of contract killing one hit at a time.
After Stephen decides to retire, he names Elizabeth as his replacement. The unexpected change triggers a chain-reaction of events and over the next year, Felicia’s normally isolated existence begins to unravel. Another hit man exposes her identity and becomes a provocative distraction. Secrets add tension to the relationships with her family and friends. Reckless mistakes on and off the job threatens her livelihood and almost claim her life.
When Stephen is targeted, Felicia effortlessly eliminates the menace only to realize she has become a liability to everyone around her. She is forced to make a tough decision, one that would save her family’s life and ultimately exile her from everyone she loves.
Here's the PW review for Barry Eisler's Last Assassin:
Japanese-American assassin John Rain would like to get out of the killing business, see the son he's only just learned of and perhaps try to reconnect with Midori, the child's mother. But first there's the little matter of the Japanese gangster Yamaoto and Yamaoto's Chinese triad allies, who are watching over Rain's son in New York City, not to mention Delilah, the beautiful Mossad agent who shares Rain's occupation and his bed. Seizing the initiative, Rain enlists the aid of his super-sniper friend, Dox, in a campaign to remove Yamaoto. Rain and allies clash with their many powerful foes in combat scenes full of lovingly detailed descriptions of knives, guns and other martial paraphernalia. Amid the threats to life, limb and loved ones, Rain finds time to enjoy good food, better whiskey and even better sex. While most of the action takes place in Japan, Eisler handles all the story's locales, including Manhattan and Barcelona, with considerable aplomb.
See the difference?
Your first paragraph is one sentence of 54 words. This bodes ill for your ability to write nimbly.
Good hooks are specific and enticing.