I know via your blog you prefer to be addressed as Miss Snark. But in the real world, I see an agent's name--let's pretend it's Kim Smith. I've ascertained that Kim is, in fact, female. I do not know if she is married or not. How do I address her? Will she be offended by Ms. Smith if she really prefers Miss Smith? If she's married, how do I know she's Mrs. Smith? Smith could be her maiden name and her married name could be Mrs. Clooney? Does the salutation really matter that much if the submission is good and at least the gender is right? I doubt agencies want to field calls every day asking the assistants how to properly address queries. But maybe it is the norm?
Goddess Snark, enlighten this nitwit, please!
(better not be)
You're obsessing here.
The snark about "Miss Snark" is not the specific title but the concept of getting the name right.
Miss Snark is Miss Snark. She is not Mr Snark, or Ms Snark or Sister Snark.
If you know an agent is a woman, you call her Ms. Agent. If he is a man you call him Mr. Agent.
If you know she's a scam artist you call her Dr. Bauer.
If you just can't deal with the uncertainty, open your letter with Hello, or Good Morning.
The only thing you should be parsing with this degree of ferocity is your writing.