That's it for Monday

Slower progress but nonetheless progress.

Couple points:

1. We will go through them all. No lottery. No stopping (barring death, dismemberment or Jane Friedman faxing me).

2. If you want more than "bingo" as a comment, quit reading now, and go get over yourself. This round was designed to work on hooks. "bingo" means you've got it. This round was not "let's heap praise on you when you get it".

3. Don't send pages unless you're asked.

4. Don't send crapometer entries at all. That ship has not only sailed, it's been lost at sea and the crew is setting up huts on some uncharted desert isle.

5. If you're emailing about anything other than the Crapstravaganza I'm ignoring you.

6. An anonymous someone sent me something nice. I'd thank you properly but of course, you're anonymous. Thank you improperly!


Anonymous said...

My thought. Don't kill yourself writing long things. Peering through, it seems you can reduce 90% of the non-"bingo" submissions to one of the following forms:

P1 -- not a hook, a first page
OU -- overused plot
NP -- no discernable plot
NC -- no conflict
TW -- too wordy
WTF -- self explanatory

Go for the shorthand responses. I'll be upset if all I get is "NP" or "WTF" or "NC" on my own hook, but at least you'll still have a brain when this is over!

Writerious said...

I'm awed by how much you've plowed through already, Your Snarkness.

Virginia Miss said...

anonymous, No, no, no! Half the fun (okay, all the fun) of this is reading the snarky comments!!

Now, if I could only re-schedule Christmas...

Anonymous said...

I know that uncharted desert island. I've been there many times. Good luck to the crew.

I have a feeling that I'll be marooned there with them after I get my own snarking. Self-exile.

Thanks again, Miss Snark. This HH COM is the best holiday gift I'll get.

Anonymous said...

thank you for doing this! I'm learning a lot. Hope you and KY got to enjoy the warm weather you were expecting!

r louis scott said...

Yanno, Miss Snark, I'm sure you are much too young to remember "The Jackie Gleason Show", but perhaps you caught an episode or two of "The Honeymooners" in re-runs. So I'm sure you'll take it the right way when I say "Baby, you're the greatest!"

Anonymous said...

Wow - thank you Miss Snark!!

Anonymous said...

I'm still a few days off at this rate but I'm thrilled with how much I'm learning from these and amazed that you're willing to give so much time and effort to this endeavor, Miss Snark. By the time all is done, it wouldn't surprise me if there are a lot more decent query letters floating around than there used to be.

Inez said...

You are amazing--I'm grateful
you use your powers for the Good

Anonymous said...

NC = NP.
How about NF -- Needs Focus.

Kelley Bell said...

Quite frankly, I am concerned for your health Miss Snark.

It reminds me of the scene from Jesus Christ Superstar where he gets overwhelmed by the lepers.

You are a Saint.

Norman D Gutter said...

Thanks for your work, MS.

Isn't this a microcosm of the publishing industry? Too many writers making submittals to an overworked editor or agent for a limited number of "chosen" spots, and the waiting time that goes on afterwards.

clarice snarkling said...

Agreed with the anon who says that this is the best holiday gift he or she will get. Seriously. I don't need a new sweater or a box of dark chocolate truffles this year as long as I get my sustained 30 minutes each day reading the Happy Hooker Crapometer for as long as it lasts.

Thanks so much for doing this, Miss Snark. I've learned so much already.


Terry said...

I said it before, but it's worth repeating. You're fantastic.

I'm amazed at how much effort you're giving these, especially since you knew after the 12 hour window just how many you'd have to read. Taking the time to send links to 'this is what it should be' as well as comments redefines above and beyond.

This is a learning experience for everyone on our side of the desk. And we have a new appreciation for what you deal with daily.

Anonymous said...

Saint Snark, you are the picture of kindness. Be sure to take a leetle time off to spend with Saint Yapp, though.

I'm learning a lot, too. I didn't submit because I have an agent, but I took a developing idea and tried to write a hook about it, and it really helped me find the true focus and conflict in the story. So thank you!

Round John Virgin said...

You've got grit, Miss Snark. To borrow from one of the great thinkers of our time, may I offer three words of encouragement:


(If you were looking for "Stay the course," sorry to disappoint.)

cm allison said...

I think you are just the "poodle's rainbow Tam"! I am in awe of the task you have set yourself. Re: an earlier point to the web site calling the Crap-o-meter a contest 'where you might get picked up by Agent Miss Snark and your book sold to a publishing company', that wasn't written by someone you lost money to, or was it? Sabotaged?

cm allison said...

Yep, 161 and 162 down farther, sandwiched in among 147, 148. In case anyone is searching (like 161 and 162!)

Southern Writer said...

Jane Friedman SHOULD fax you - with a job offer. You can not only out-snark Judith Regan, you could teach her a few things about good manners.

~Nancy said...

Just wanted to thank you Miss Snark for taking the time to do all of this; it's been quite an education!

I also wanted to thank all the submitters, as I know it's not an easy thing to put your unpubbed stuff out there (as I did on Evil Editor's blog; I'm now "immortalized" in Novel Deviations, lol).