12.07.2006

Toasting Killer Yapp

My dear Miss Snark,

I received a copy today of the The Artful Dog: Canines from The Metropolitan Museum of Art and in it the illustrious James Thurber claims:

I can say on firsthand authority that poodles do not like brandy; all they like is champagne and they prefer it in a bowl.

Is it true that Killer Yapp prefers champagne to your own drink of choice, or is Mr. Thurber generalizing? It seems incongruous with the cigar.


Much like Grandmother Snark, Killer Yapp drinks moonshine, smokes cigars and carries a hatpin for unexpected interactions with the Army of Squirrels. His favorite place at the Met is the Trustees Dining Room but he's also fond of this

17 comments:

Susan Helene Gottfried said...

Oh, goodness. I'm working on an essay about the band Disturbed and when I saw the title "Toasting Killer Yapp," all I could imagine was a white poodle trussed up on a spit, pink tam and all.

That band is well named.

Anonymous said...

Today at Petco I saw a mug with a picture of a dog that looked exactly like Killer Yapp. Wanna know what it said on the back? "Bichon Frise".

Snark bark.

Anonymous said...

I still think Killer Yapp looks like a Bichon...either that or he's in disguise.

cm allison said...

bye the way, Lady Bichons tend to like a nice sherry with their cigars (or port)

Anonymous said...

Most poodles are too vain to hide behind an alias.

Sal said...

"toasting Killer Yapp" == "hot dog!"

Lorra said...

I know poodles are smart (and my dog is in love with a white poodle down the street, although sadly, he has no way to consummate his lust since he's missing some vital body parts that he won't be reunited with until he gets to doggie heaven), but I'll take a brilliant black lab with a great sense of humor and no artsy-fartsy pretentiousness anytime over a pink-tammed, squirrel-chasing, curb-pooping, city-dwelling canine.

Now, before you get your knickers in a twist, Miss Snark, I'm not saying KY isn't adorable or smart; poodles are known to be both as long as their humans don't make them get those freaky haircuts. I'm just saying that thing they do where they potty on the curb and wear silly clothes - dogs in these here parts would put a beatdown on them if they crossed paths because it's just not natural for a dog to behave like that.

Sorry; didn't want to ruin your evening, but it's been festering and I had to get it out.

Hextall sends his love to KY

Dave said...

My Dad and I once got my Mother's poodle drunk on Black Russians. Poor little thing tried to stand, wobbled and staggered four steps, lay down and peed on the carpet.
-- We were popular that night :(

JPD said...

I too visualized the worst when I saw the headline, "Toasting Killer Yapp..."

You should be more conscientious with regards to our keyboards. A cautionary beverage alert was warranted, in my opinion...

JPD (anticipating his own lamb-basting, come Dec 15th...)

Talia Mana, Centre for Emotional Well-Being said...

KY (why does that always remind me of KY jelly???) has very expensive taste in art. Guess it would go well with champagne

Does KY have some sort of endorsement deal with KY Jelly and lubricant?

Anonymous said...

What kinda moonshine... Blue leg swamp fire? Tater drip, or Devil's spit?

Bet 'ole Granny dips snuff, gums Red Man and swallars sweet onion sardine sandwiches all at the same time.


Haste yee back ;-)

Jane said...

My father used to drink with James Thurber (which is to say he carried JT home.) And JT would not have been in any condition to notice what his dog was drinking.Or so my late father used to declare.

Jane Yolen

Anonymous said...

Labs = smart?? LMAO. Not the labs I know.

Shouga Tea said...

My death-commando squirrels have been known to bow before images of hatpins. Some of them run a closet industry in decorating hatpins in return for their life.
And now I know why they have those miniscule silver flasks in their kits; the lily-livers...

Matt said...

Bird in space, eh? Must be those poodle hunting instincts; refined for the Met of course.

(Labs really are smart. It's just hard to tell because they're uber-enthusiastic and feel no pain.)

Bella Stander said...

I can see why Killer Yapp would like the Brancusi. It's like a sleekly designed fire hydrant or lamppost.

Lorra said...

Hey Matt - thanks for saying labs are smart, which they are. But I never said, other than housebreaking, that they were easy to train - especially an alpha male which I accidentally selected 10 years ago because I loved his enthusiasm. Won't make that mistake again.

Next dog will be a female, maybe even a labradoodle, the best of both breeds.