To Her Most Tyrannically Inebriated Gin Drenched Snarkiness,
Keeper Of the Most Bichonesque KY,
Expounder Of The Hidden Secrets of the Hook,
Wielder Of The Mighty and Most Feared Cluegun,
Guardian of the Passage to Nitwitville,
I was thinking of adding a short questionnaire to my query letter. Something along the lines of:
"Please tick any and all that apply for rejection
(I will not take any feedback as an invitation to correspond with you further, unless explicitly indicated.):
_ I don't handle this genre.
_ This has subject matter I don't deal with.
_ No plot indicated.
_ This is poorly written and needs to go through several re-writes.
_ I like it, but I can't sell it.
_The market does not buy manuscripts like this."
Would that be completely inappropriate? I mean, it would take a bit more time than a form letter, but hopefull not that much more.
Should I do this? Or should I ready my passport for a certified stamp from the sovereign city-state of Nitwitville?
No. You and I both know you'll honor the "I promise never to follow up on this" but the agents don't. Trust me on this: we've all been on the wrong end of 'please give me some feedback' also known as "there's a reason we print up form rejection letters and it's not cause we can't type".
I never answer these things. I use form rejection language unless I want to say something nicer than "no".
I understand your thirst for assistance but that is why Dog invented Crapometers, critique groups and the Evil Editor. Miss Snark was spawned by Satan, as were all of her ilk.