1.22.2007

Nitwit of the Day-Returns!

This came this morning:


Good Morning,


Would like to meet for breakfast or lunch - perhaps you might read 30 pgs of my book and see what you think.


This was my reply:
I already know what I think.


and now this!

How rude you and your pathetic group are - - Thankfully, there are normal folks around BTW, I will be lunching w/Mr. Korda who has read 30 pgs of my book and thinks it's pretty hot! What a sad group you and your followers seem to be - - -
Thank you for your time.

Have a lovely time.

31 comments:

Anonymous said...

Does this mean that dinner is out of the question?

delilah said...

How 'bout we meet for a Cluefest instead?

BuffySquirrel said...

How about if we serve filet de nitwit?

katiesandwich said...

This has to be a joke, right? Please, dog, please, let this be a joke.

Anonymous said...

And I can pack my pajamas, just in case.

Anonymous said...

Wow, Miss Snark, I can't believe you didn't jump at this opportunity. Can't you see that this guy is the Next Big Thing?

whoisbenji said...

People actually email you this sort of thing? Does this occur on a regular basis?

BenPanced said...

Sale on clue-by-fours, this week at Nitwit Depot!

Dave said...

maybe it could be a sleepover with pizza and gin and we could dress our doggies in colorful clothing, too.

O.o

Zappadong said...

Well, I'm always in for a good breakfast. Send the nitwit over to me (especially if it's a good-looking HE). As for the pages, well, if we have enough time, we can make paper hats, paper planes, paper something. Or give them to the children at the table next to us, together with a box of crayons.

PS: Has Miss Snark considered that this might be George Clooney in disguise (testing her)?

Zappadong

Anonymous said...

Dog Bless The Nitwits, who give the rest of us something to laugh out loud about first thing in the morning!



word ver zxuysgk: Ukranian vegan poultry burger

Kim said...

Here's a suggestion - We'll do breakfast, at 4:30 in the morning (to avoid the breakfast rush), you can pay, and I'll bring my 800,000 word fiction novel while you can bring the contract!

egads... where is the clue cannon when you really need it?

Anonymous said...

Should've mentioned dessert.

December Quinn said...

Saaay, Dave knows how to PARTY!

Georgiana said...

I thought that said 30 PIGS of my book.

Chumplet said...

Set up a time and a place, and park across the street to giggle.

Don't forget the red rose on the lapel or in the hair so you'll know who you're laughing at.

Ryan Field said...

Sounds like Craigslist to me. Creepy.

Anonymous said...

Can I come too? I only have an idea so far, but I could use feedback on that.

I'll buy the waffles if you teach me to write a fictional novel. Why should everyone else be buying Florida condos with their book money? How hard can writing be?

ORION said...

Does this mean no?

Kanani said...

And I hear George Clooney is looking for an agent for his 30 page book, "New Adventures of the Kama Sutra."

Perhaps he wants you to bedtest the tome.

Bill E. Goat said...

Dear Snarkie,

We'll always have Paris.
We'll always have Rome.

And those fond memories of a night lost in Central Park followed me home.

I'm still looking for my misplaced shoe.
You don't know where it is, do you?

Shoes aren't made for goat feet,
But you said they made me look sweet.

Thanks so much for a great time.

William E. Goat III, esq.

PS: I sneaked a winner manuscript under the right antimacassar.
As you peruse it think fondly on our night in the hayloft. That hay was premium stuff!

Dave said...

It really is a typographical thing.

I had to supervise a groups of contractors (graphics illustrators) who did all of our brochures, books, fact sheets - - anything printed. The first thing they made fun of me typing was two spaces.

And in that sense, one space makes sense and two spaces are just typing for personal letters. Pagemaker, InDesign and, FreeHand and other typographic programs require a single space.

You see, those programs control the amount of space between letters and words so that you don't end up with widows and orphans. And you fit the column length. And you end of a full or half

Publishers worry about that stuff.

Bill Peschel said...

"BTW, I will be lunching w/Mr. Korda"

Well, if I had the choice between Michael Korda and Miss Snark, I'd choose you as well, but I'm just like that.

Swordswinger said...

I know you can't tell us this person's name. Or the title of their undoubtedly luminous and earth-shaking tome.

Which is such a shame, because otherwise we'd know when it's eventually released. By PublishAmerica...

Kim said...

We are sad and rude - and let's not forget pathetic - and yet this person of unknown origin submitted this silly little question. Then s/he give a 'nyah, nyah'. How mature. Yes, PA will snatch it up and it will retail for $25 (paperback, of course) - can't wait!

Kim Stagliano said...

Lunch with Mr. Korda? Hope Mr. Snark-hater orders the humble pie....

Anonymous said...

Wow, lunch with a retiree...now that's something for us all to be jealous of!

(Not that Michael Korda doesn't have impressive credit or wasn't a great editor and writer. But he's also retired.)

Frankly, anyone who has time to meet with an unknown, obviously clueless writer based on thirty pages isn't worth the price of the meal.

December Quinn said...

Is that Mr. Korda the ex-S&S editor, or Mr. Korda the head of the Church of Euthenasia?

Writer on Board said...

Dear Snark,

Mike Korda here. I've actually signed this brilliant man writer to a 36 book deal with Dead End Press and we're negotiating with Disney for the movie and Broadway Musical rights. Leonardo De Caprio is set to play the male lead and Julia Roberts has already given a yes to playing the other lead - which will be female. Ha! Ha! You missed out on a 100 million dollar deal. Hope you're happy, poopie head.

Excuse me a moment...

"I said I want the blue crayons! The BLUE ONES!"

I'm back....

Suffer, baby, suffer!

-Mike

Dragonet2 said...

Where should I ship the white courtesy cluephone (pick it up and a hammer comes out of the receiver...a la Looney Tunes...)?

Anonymous said...

So...what part of SECRET identity does he not get?... or does he think that Miss Snark is a legal name?