Dear Miss Snark,
Please do an entry on why NOT to cold-call an editor.
I'm sure this guy was a nice non-homicidal type in real life, but he turned into a fumbling, venom-spewing illiterate mess once I picked up the phone. Ugh ugh ugh.
You didn't buy his book cause he told you how good it was?? How very short sighted of you!
I get those too. Like the guy who called me at midnight thinking he'd get the answering machine. Surprise! Snark Central runs 24/7 more often than not and Killer Yapp loves to speak on the phone.
My recent favorite was the secretary of some nitwit who was given the assignment to feel out agents for their interest in his novel. After I stopped laughing long enough to tell her this just wasn't done, I realized she had to keep calling everyone on the list cause the nitwit she worked for told her to.
Stay off the phone.