Dear Miss Snark,
I’ve noticed a lot of novels include gratuitous sex scenes that have nothing to do with the story. I figure people must like to read that stuff, and so I’m anxious to add a few sex scenes to the novel I’m writing. And I really want those passages to be detailed and authentic. Unfortunately, I’m such a loser no woman has ever agreed to have, um, intimate relations with me, and so I don’t have any personal experiences to draw upon.
Do you have any advice for me?
Not just any advice, I have really GOOOOD advice.