Rodentia...the planet next to Rabbitania

Dear Miss Snark,

I have a question about the title for my new book. It’s a lovingly crafted story about the mutant pet mice I owned when I was a child. Their names were Memphis and Dallas. They shared a beautiful pink tail that connected their cute little furry butts. The book is my heartwarming narrative of how they dealt with adversity. For example, at first they cancelled each other out on the treadmill by trying to run in opposite directions, but over time they learned to take turns. Do you think I should title my poignant memoir A Tail of Two Cities?

No no. Of Mice, Amen will allow you to tap into the heartwarming market more easily and avoid any unfortunate comparison to that hack Dickens.


Katie said...

"Twice As Mice"

Sha'el, Princess of Pixies said...

One could go for the 17th Century style title:

Hickory and Dickory: A Tail of Two Mice, or How a Twist of Fate and Appendages Unified Two Rodents for Life, to Which is Appended a Compendium of Cheesy Facts and Extracts are Given from the Author's Commonplace Book on Facing Divine Adversity Sent to Teach Rodents Everywhere Through the Example of Rodent Saints Given as an Ensample for All, all embodied in a series of twenty-two sermons delivered at Temple Church in the Absence of Bishop Sherlock in a secret meeting of non-conformist mice in the hollow space behind the High Altar, said sermons being entitled The Unified Tails in the Field Theory.

Dave said...

Does anyone remember Tim Conway's tale of the two Siamese Elephants?

They were joined at the trunks

When one sneezed the other one's eyes damn near popped out.

Brady Westwater said...

"Twice Told Tails"

Heidi the Hick said...

I remember the Siamese Elephant skit. Those guys were laughing so hard they could hardly tell the story.

Very impressionable on a kid!

~Nancy said...

HAHAHA!! Thanks for the good laugh!


michaelgav said...

Mitch Albom is working on another 140-pager to inject still more vacuous wisdom into our lives. This one is about conjoined rodents who are exterminated during a visit by the Terminex man, and who find that in heaven they are no longer bound at the tails. One spends his days hedonistically gnawing on swiss cheese (the holes are symbolic). The other anguishes over how lost he feels without his brother, and reflects on the possibilities for a kinder existence. A Godlike figure tells him the Bubonic Plague really wasn't the fault of rats, and there is much wistful rumination and vague promises to live every minute to the fullest.

Starbucks took a pass, so look for it in a Jiffy Lube near you.

Anonymous said...

re Siamese Elephant skit

It was especially funny when Vicki Lawrence (staying in character as Momma) looked over at Conway and growled, "WTF are you talking about?"

Saw it on a blooper show. Best thing ever!

kathryn magendie said...


(for once I leave a comment of one word, no, now its thirteen, oops, fourteen...must...stop...wr..it..in..g)

Manic Mom said...

Joke, right?

Man, I go to Cabo for a week and miss all the good stuff!