Is it soup yet?

Dear Miss Snark,

I recently asked out a lady that owns a bookstore. We went out for dinner, and it was strange. She insisted the restaurant have lots of publicity and rave reviews. The building itself had to be made of brick and mortar. She asked for the manager and demanded we get 40% off the menu list prices, and that I should have 60 days to pay the bill. Plus, she insisted on a full refund for the food she left on her plate.

She did like how the menus were organized by category (appetizers, entrees, etc.), but then she complained that the menu selections weren’t in alphabetical order.

She wouldn’t even touch her peas. She said she wouldn’t have anything to do with stuff that came from pods. Before we left she tried to get me to autograph all of the menus.

Do you have any advice for me?

Find out her laydown date, and returns policy.
And woo her with home cooking.


Writer on Board said...

Dear Reader,

I married her.

Sha'el, Princess of Pixies said...

We antiquarian booksellers are much more civilized. Our major problem is that talking dead people into book signings is almost impossible.

Kate Thornton said...

"Find out her laydown date, and returns policy."

Snort! Too funny, Miss S!

Anonymous said...

Dammit, Snark, put a Spew Alert Warning on that, will ya?

Kim Stagliano said...

I remember my first laydown date. Oh. That's not what you meant? My bad.

Laurie Mann said...


I'm a former bookstore employee, and call me VERY amused!

Does she remove the top layer of each item she returns?