3.29.2007

Killer Yapp receives mail

Yapp:

"ciuridaphobia – (n) -- the fear of squirrels, enveloping both the fear of being overrun by squirrels and the compulsion to attack them."


Inform the Snark woman I'm taking that "attack them" comment personally. Me and all my furry, tree-dwelling brethren and sistren in Noo Yawk Sitty. She may have noticed that almost anywhere you go where there's trees, you can see squirrels... or more importantly, they can see you!

We'll be seeing you, Miss Snark. Oh yes, yes we will.

The Squirrel

14 comments:

Elektra said...

Fear the squirrels. Especially the black Russian-Mafia looking ones that seem poised to take over NYC in one fell swoop (do sqirrels swoop? One fell hop just doesn't sound as threatening).

Lin Neiswender said...

OMG squirrel terrorists! Alert Homeland Security!

Katie said...

A couple of years ago, we had a squirrel in our backyard that crawled around, flat on its diabolical squirrel tummy, for about three hours. I think it was trying to find a stash of buried narcotics it hid there before it got sent away to prison.

Computer Commuter said...

My dogs have "a cute" (ugh!) case of this condition - especially when the squirrels sit on the fence and taunt them. If I so much as open a can of peanuts, my dogs start growling at me.

BuffySquirrel said...

Hmm. Militant squirrels. Must keep at arm's-length.

judy said...

You know, this isn't funny. Squirrels DO attack and we had it happen here with a neighbor girl when she was about 11.

She was walking to the bus stop down the middle of the road (where else would a kid walk?) and ahead of her in the middle of the road was a squirrel. Apparently, he didn't like the fact that she was walking into his territory.

So, as she got closer, he ran at her, climbed up her leg, up her chest and to her face, chattering at her the whole time. She had to brush him off and run for cover. And it wasn't easy with those little claws of his.

She was left with scratches and a tremendous fear of squirrels. I think it was a warning. It hasn't happened since, but I don't see any kids walking up the middle of the road.

Tracy said...

My squirrel rule: Any more than 5 in one area is considered vermin.

The Anti-Wife said...

Dear Killer Yapp,

My girls would be very happy to come to New York and act as your bodyguards. As you can see from the picture on my blog, they are fearsome creatures and could intimidate any squirrel stupid enough to get in your way.

We've got your back!

Anonymous said...

I knew a kid once who was attacked by a squirrel. The little bastard chased the squirrel up a small pine tree then picked up a stick and proceeded to poke at the animal and laugh tauntingly. Well, he wasn't laughing when the squirrel took a flying leap and latched on to his face. The kid started to flail and the squirrel commenced to runnin' round and round his circumference like he was just an over active pine. We would have helped. Either the kid or the squirrel, had anyone in the vacinity been able to simultaneously stand and maintain bladder control. Let this be a cautionary tale to any of you who might be tempted to taunt a squirrel. That said, if you know someone who is so inclined it would make a great you tube.

Christina said...

When I lived in NYC two squirrels would gather at the local pocket park at trees 6 feet apart and taunt a dim black cat that didn't get it that if he chased one up a tree the other squirrel would come after him. I thought it might please you, your yappiness, that the cat was that stupid.

Dr. Hack said...

Thus begins the deification of Yapp. Soon all letters to the Snark blog will have to be written through Yapp the intermediary.

Much like the way Catholics pray to the Virgin.

Anonymous said...

My sister was bit by a squirrel when we were kids. Believe that? Who know the things bit people. What color are the squirrels in New York anyway? The grey ones are the cutest, but watch your back.

Anonymous said...

Squirrels...just rats with good PR

Eric said...

We are everywhere....
The Squirrel