More on querying "agents you don't know"

Dear Miss Snark,

So, you are very firm about not querying agents I don't know (or, I suppose, tanking candy from strangers). However... I'm in a writer's group, with a lot of published people, and no one has an agent, or knows one. I have introduced myself to every published author I know, and no one will introduce me to their agent. Most don't have an agent. So my first question is HOW DO YOU GET TO KNOW AN AGENT?

And my second question is, can I invite you out for coffee, so I can get to know you?

Querying agents you don't know ABOUT.
That means just sending query letters to an agent who, say, keeps a blog.
I get queries like that regularly.

Most I delete, unread, and put the name on "junk mail sender" so I don't have to hear their nitwittery responses.

If you are querying a novel, you get an agent's name, contact info, and you learn about them by doing ALL of these:

1. Read the agency's website
2. Read the listing on AgentQuery.com, Preditors and Editors, and Writers Digest.
3. Google the agent's name to find interviews, writers conference listings and other misc info.

When you have done all three, you "know about" an agent and you may query.

And of course you can't buy Miss Snark coffee, are you insane? Miss Snark does not drink coffee she has Bustello on an IV drip hung from a rolling pole that also serves as decorum enforcement on the IRT.


Anonymous said...

Miss Snark,
There's no easy way to put this. I had to put my 8 year old Cavalier King Charles Spaniel down yesterday because of a hereditary heart problem. As you can imagine I'm devasted and there's been a lot of uncontrollble crying. You know what made me smile today--your blog. So thank you.

Maya Reynolds said...

MFM: Your comment touched my heart. It takes courage and a great deal of love to do what you did.

I'm in the waiting stages as my Manx cat (21 years old this month) is winding down.

I made the decision NOT to take extraordinary measures to prolong her life since they all included lots of visits to the vet, which she would not understand and would just hate.

Every time I return home, I wonder if I'll find her little body waiting for me. But every night, she is waiting next to her food dish, meowing for me to hurry up and open the cat food.

When I can tell Tribble is in pain, I'll do what you did. It's the last loving act we can offer our pets.

Warm regards.

Jenn said...

This was really informative. Thank you for the help.

Anonymous said...

Bustelo coffee YAY!! That's the best Puertorican coffee.

Try Pilòn next time, and you could sleep with your eyes open for a week.



michaelgav said...

"Decorum enforcement on the IRT..."

--That's fucking hilarious. Sorry for the choice of language, especially in the context of these sad comments about pets, but there is no better adjective for it. Brava, Snark!

Anonymous said...

MS: "And of course you can't buy Miss Snark coffee, are you insane?"

I uess that means I have to cancel that reservation I made for us at Per Se some six months ago, eh?

B.E. Sanderson said...

I need an IV drip. How does one go about hooking up with someone to supply caffiene intravenously?

Thanks for another witty post, Miss Snark.

Geminipen said...

Does anyone know what "More information is needed on this agent" means at agentquery.com?

It makes me suspicious, and I avoid them. But alas! I may be avoiding the one agent who will rep my stuff.

Elektra said...

MFM, there's nothing to say except I'm sorry. I hope your pain is short-lived, and will allow you a new furry friend in time.

Anonymous said...

"Does anyone know what "More information is needed on this agent" means at agentquery.com?"

I have no idea, and have wondered about that, too. Some of the most well known agents, with great reps, have that tagged onto their entries.
I wonder what more they need to know if they have contact info and specific sales data? What fraternity they are alumns of? Their birthdates? Seems totally arbitrary to me.

ORION said...

RE: "More information needed on this client" Why don't you e-mail agentquery.com and ask?
I assume it means the agent hasn't completely filled out all the spaces on their profile. Going back and forth and comparing agents who do not have this disclaimer and those who do make me determine that this might be the case.
But when in doubt. Ask.

Marion Gropen said...

"decorum enforcement" on the subway! I love it. I wish there were more of you out there.

I must admit, however, that NYC is more civil than it was 20 years ago, when I first arrived. I haven't had to break up a good fight in a couple of years.

Witty post, as always.

And MFM, my condolences. Pets are family, and their loss strikes deeply.