? Queue

Hear me, oh Oracle of Snarkilosophy and Yappitude,

What is the one question a minion should never, never, never ask an agent?
What is the one question that is a must?

Prospective agents:
1. How much can you get for this?
2. What have you sold?

Your actual agent:
1. Am I your favorite client?
2. Am I doing everything I need to in order to sell/promote my book?

Miss Snark:
1. Can I query you?
2. I have Mr. Clooney in the trunk of my car. Where should I deliver him?


Sally said...

Mr. Clooney isn't in my trunk but he IS knocking at my door. See ya!

Anonymous said...

So DO you have favorite clients? Are there some that are more enjoyable than others, and if so, why?

December Quinn said...

It's "que", Miss S..."queue" is what they call a line over here in England. :-)

It's the little imperfections that make one perfect.

Miss Snark said...

I meant queue, like a line up.
I thought it was a line up of questions. I actually had to look up how to spell it.

oh well, some jokes are just off the mark!

kitty said...

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Anonymous said...

I understood right away it was "question queue," Miss Snark.
I would think most people did.
Fret not.

Kim Stagliano said...

The one thing I asked and really wanted a straight answer to is "How do you like to work?" I figure if I know my new agent's style and have an idea of timelines and reporting I'll relax. Or I'll pretend to relax. So I don't become a royal pain in the ass. I'm a big believer in saying straight out "I'm new at this. Tell me what you excpect from me and what will make you rue the day you ever called me." It's easier and saves me a lot of embarrassment. I'm such a middle child - the peace maker. Just call me Jan Brady!

December Quinn said...

Actually, it was the question mark that did it, because in Spanish you put the little upside-down question mark before the question and the right-side-up one after it (as I'm sure you know.) I didn't think your computer had an upside-down one so I assumed you meant it to be upside down.

Sorry. I do get the joke now.

I'm just going to go sit in the corner now with my mouth firmly shut.

Anonymous said...

Mr. C is just over in Greer filming. Should I nab him and toss him in the back of my station wagon? No trunk, sorry, but I don't think restraints will be necessary when he finds out you are at the end of the journey. Could you meet me halfway? I need to buy dog treats today and my time is limited.


Deb said...

Okay, color me Nitwit of the Week, but I don't get why Actual Agent Question #2 is stupid. Suppose I'm supposed to be doing 10 things to promote my book, and I've only thought of 9? Isn't my agent the right person to ask?

If I'm a nitwit, oh well, it won't be the first time--or the last, I daresay.


Anonymous said...

Deb: From each pair of questions, #1 is Never Ask, and #2 is Must Ask.

Marti said...

I hope you have a fabulous St. Patrick’s Day!

I have missed you! Death in the family kept me away. Peace and joy to you.

Deb said...

Oh. Duhh. Thanks, Marti.

NiT2Wit of the week

Roxan said...

If I have Clooney in my trunk you may not want him. No telling how long he's been in there. LOL

Chumplet said...

December's in trouble! December's in trouble!

I thought it was the Spanish version of WTF, too.

I also thought, at first glance, that both questions were no-nos, and thought to myself, "Why the hell wouldn't I ask that question?"

Teaches me to read, not skim.

Peter L. Winkler said...

Presumably, you shouldn't have to ask "What have you sold?" if you've researched the agent's sales. If however, the agents seems promising and their sales record is not accessible, then I see nothing wrong in asking.

BenPanced said...

Actually, the second question to Miss Snark should read, "I have Mr. Clooney in the trunk of my car. Why should I deliver him to you?"