3.27.2007

Snarkisms!

Snark·i·lep·sy

(snär'kə-lěp'sē) n.
Neurological disorder characterized by sudden recurring attacks of motor, sensory, or psychic malfunction with or without loss of consciousness or convulsive seizures. Brought on by the bludgeoning force of Miss Snark's Clue Bat.

Not to be confused with:

Snark·co·lep·sy

(snär'kə-lěp'sē) n.
A disorder characterized by sudden and uncontrollable attacks of deep sleep, sometimes accompanied by paralysis and hallucinations. Brought on by hours of sifting through the slush pile and dealing with nitwits. Symptoms are often acute during Crapometer season.
contributor: Sharon W-B!!


Email me your contribution to the Snarksaurus!

44 comments:

katiesandwich said...

So what would you call having dreams about reading Miss Snark's blog? This has happened to me more than once. Which means I'm probably spending too much time blogging and not enough time writing!

Desperate Writer said...

How funny! Will we see this under "useful Info" on the blogroll?

Anonymous said...

not the Snarkopedia?

Chris said...

Snark-a-rite-us

A type of RSI which involves constantly trying to post "witty" messages here as a form of social bonding in antidote to working in such a lonely profession. And to avoid having to do any real work, obviously.

Chris said...

Snark-a-licious

That warm, moist feeling in the mouth when reading Miss Snark's advice.

Jenny said...

Sciuridaphobia - the fear of squirrels, enveloping both the fear of being overrun by squirrels and the compulsion to attack them.

Clooneyphelia - the ongoing and overriding attraction to George Clooney.

Clooneysciuridaphiliaphobia - The fear that George Clooney likes squirrels (and you'll have to accept everything about that, right down to the Hummel squirrel figurines and concrete garden squirrels that decorate his palazzo).

Christine said...

Snarkasm:
a) the berating of the clue-free using witty repartee and Nitwiticism to hilarious result. Snarkasm may require a beverage warning label.
b) The explosive joy one feels when the anticipation of reading MS's blog is realized.

Ryan Field said...

Snark-i-jor-a-tive
(snark-jawr-uh-tiv)
adj. a disparaging term that often involves the C word or the F word and may be hazardous to keyboards. dyslogistic terms like `nitwit' and `scalawag'.

(I swear the second half of the definition came verbatim from the dictionary)

Waylander said...

Snark-Plug, essential component in the firing mechanism of a clue gun

Jaye Wells said...

Snarkeology: The act of digging through the Snarkives for a solution to one's most recent act of nitwittery.

Angela said...

Snark-a-rama

Term used to describe a well deserved; some may describe vicious, snarking of a clueless nitwit.

Snarky
Setting free your inner Miss Snark when dealing with the nitwits you encounter in real life.

Alternatively, as I recently discovered it is British slang for being testy or irritable; short.

Elayna said...

Space Snark! -A delightful memoir, inspired by brilliant moonshine, whom Miss Snark's androgynous matriarch double will write far far ahead in time and space.

Sorry, I couldn't resist.

WE said...

Snar-kot-ik (noun)

1.A soothing, positive reply posted on Miss Snark's blog. 2. A short phrase meant to sharpen the senses of a writer in a non-productive, dream-like state, often requiring the addition of one or more ounces of gin.
- adj. pertaining to, or resulting from exposure to a snarkotik. The author was in a snarkotik trance after winning the IOL contest.

Anonymous said...

Snarkaholic: a snarkling who wants to quit reading Miss Snark and get some damned work done, but reasons, after just this one post...but it never ends at just one.

Snarkophile: a snarkling who visits writer's forums and offers advice, but every one of their posts starts with, "Well, according to Miss Snark..."

The Anti-Wife said...

Snarkophobia - fear of literary agents in stilettos carrying small white dogs.

Snarkodelic - an author's mental state characterized by intense and distorted perceptions along with hallucinations and feelings of euphoria and despair while attempting to adhere to guidelines established by literary agents in stilettos carrying small white dogs.

metasailor said...

All of these conditions tend to be successfully combated with the use of non-prescription Snarcotics.

M. G. Tarquini said...

snarkophagus - where memorable nitwits are entombed forever in the snarkives.

Desperate Writer said...

Hmmm...I e-mailed mine....

Anonymous said...

Snarkite. A follower of all things Snark.

Anonymous said...

Snarkjection. What I received in response to my query.

Anonymous said...

Snarktasy, what occurs after Mr. Clooney arrives at Miss Snark's boudior.

Miss Snark said...

Miss Snark has more of a lair than a boudoir.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous is happily married and cannot let his thoughts run there.

Anonymous said...

Whatever happened to the Snarkship Enterprise?

Anonymous said...

Snark-attack - unexpected loss of a limb due to cluestick activity while swimming in cloudy or unfamiliar waters.

inherwritemind2 said...

Snarkangel

Christine said...

Snark extinguisher-
What MS has on hand always, to be used only in case of folicle ignition. (see: hair on fire)

Snarkinac - contains the only knows maps of Rabbitania and its suburbs. Also contains maps and blueprints (and alarm system codes) to Clooney's house.

Desperate .... :P Come on, who doesn't want to see these gems?

Dave Kuzminski said...

Snarkogeddon - the cleansing of the Snark email box.

metasailor said...

Snarkaeology - the study of the great Snarks of our dim past - and how these Snarks were used against our dim ancestors.

metasailor said...

Snarkeling - the act of putting on a websuit and diving into the cold pool of the collective webconscious, while being kept alert and alive by the stream of fresh air provided through ones Snarkel.

A Paperback Writer said...

Snarkspeak= the distinctive jargon of snarklings and snarkophiles, which includes terms such as "nitwit" and acronyms such as "wtf?"

Snarkian= of or relating to Miss Snark and/or her blog

Snarkination!= an expletive spewed out over the keyboard when one realizes one has typed nitwittery

Snarkcoma = what a writer falls into after too much blog reading, especially common during crapometer time periods

Snarkanthropist = one who links to Miss Snark on his/her own blog, thus enabling other innocent bloggers to become addicted

Snarkelation= euphoria induced by finding positive comments by Miss Snark on one's crapometer/contest entry

Shall I shut up now before someone shoots me?

Anonymous said...

ihpwssnarkic = under the rule of Snark

snarkology = study of the snarkives

snark and it = gin and tonic

snarkle = coruscate

Greta LaGarbeaux said...

Snarkocity - !. The state of being Miss Snark. 2. The act of attempting to emulate Miss Snark. 3. The place where Snarklings hold their conventions.

Tracy said...

Snarkisms = funny. As an epileptic with a sleeping disorder, Snarkilepsy/Snarkolepsy, not so funny.

gm said...

Ensnarkened (verb)
The act of being enlightened by the comments of Miss Snark, esp crapometer comments

Snarkissistic (adjective)
The state of being in love with Miss Snark, applies to all Snarklings and Mr. Clooney (!)

Snarquery (noun) (pronounced sn-ar-kw-er-ee)
A query that has much improved thanks to the expert advice of Miss Snark

Laura K said...

Snark•o•phant:
One who sucks up to Miss Snark in order to get something from her.
ant: Snark•o•phile: one who adores Miss Snark because of her inate goddesshood and snarkiness.

John B said...

Mstake: Erroneously calling Miss Snark "Ms. Snark." Often a sign that a clue gun will be fired.

Jennifer McK said...

Yappbiteitis--The act of having Miss Snark sic Killer Yapp on any who have offended or bored her.

Snarkginitis--The disease that is associated with reading very poorly written query letters which requires large amounts of gin.

Stilettosnarks--the scars left on hapless authors who expose their nitwittery to Miss Snark.

Cynthia Bronco said...

Can we purchase the lexicon on Amazon?

Comma Boy said...

snarkophagus

(snär-kŏf'ə-gəs) n.

Stone coffin in which one's literary career is entombed after once too often arousing the ire of Miss Snark.

Deb said...

Snarkophagy - (v) the act of feeding on Snarkisms and/or Snarkasm (see above) for agent wisdom and knowledge.

WTS - (n) "What the Snark?" the exclamation uttered when a (different) agent does something you cannot fathom.

T2

Deb said...

Heavens! Almost forgot:

Snarkitania -- (n) the state where Miss S rules, where stilettos and gin are mandatory, Killer Yapp reigns as viceroy, and Mr C is a demigod. Not to be confused with Rabbitania, a whole 'nother country.

T2

metasailor said...

Snarkastic

See "agent".

Emily Veinglory said...

snardonicist (a): someone who needs to being slapped with a wet poodle. see also: the Yapnick manoeuvre. synonym: clueless, a n00b.