3.28.2007

What's the Good Word?

ciuridaphobia – (n) -- the fear of squirrels, enveloping both the fear of being overrun by squirrels and the compulsion to attack them.

clooneyphilia – (n) -- the ongoing and overriding attraction to George Clooney.

clooneysciuridaphiliaphobia – (n) -- the fear that George Clooney likes squirrels (and you'll have to accept everything about that, right down to the Hummel squirrel figurines and concrete garden squirrels that decorate his palazzo).

ensnarkened - (v) – the act of being enlightened by the comments of Miss Snark, esp. crapometer comments.

ihpwssnarkic – (adj) -- under the rule of Snark.

snarkaeology – (n) -- the study of the great Snarks of our dim past, and how these Snarks were used against our dim ancestors.

snarkaholic – (n) -- a snarkling who wants to quit reading Miss Snark and get some damned work done, but reasons, after just this one post...but it never ends at just one.

snarkalicious – (adj) -- that warm, moist feeling in the mouth when reading Miss Snark's advice.

snark and it – (colloq.) -- gin and tonic.

snarkanthropist – (n) -- one who links to Miss Snark on his/her own blog, thus enabling other innocent bloggers to become addicted.

snarkarama – (n) -- term used to describe a well-deserved, some may say vicious, snarking of a clueless nitwit.

snarkaritis - (n) -- a type of RSI which involves constantly trying to post "witty" messages here as a form of social bonding in antidote to working in such a lonely profession. And to avoid having to do any real work, obviously.

snarkasm - (n) -- a) the berating of the clue-free using witty repartee and nitwitticism to hilarious result. Snarkasm may require a beverage warning label; b) The explosive joy one feels when the anticipation of reading MS's blog is realized.

snark-attack – (n) -- unexpected loss of a limb due to cluestick activity while swimming in cloudy or unfamiliar waters.

snarkcoma – (n) -- what a writer falls into after too much blog reading, especially common during crapometer time periods.

snarkelation – (n) -- euphoria induced by finding positive comments by Miss Snark on one's crapometer/contest entry.

snarkeling – (v) -- the act of putting on a websuit and diving into the cold pool of the collective webconscious, while being kept alert and alive by the stream of fresh air provided through one’s snarkel.

snarkeology – (n) -- the act of digging through the snarkives for a solution to one's most recent act of nitwittery.

snark extinguisher – (n) -- what MS has on hand always, to be used only in case of follicle ignition (see also: hair on fire).

snarkginitis – (n) -- the disease associated with reading very poorly written query letters, which requires large amounts of gin.

snarkian – (adj) -- of or relating to Miss Snark and/or her blog.

snarkinac – (n) -- contains the only known maps of Rabbitania and its suburbs. Also contains maps and blueprints (and alarm system codes) to Clooney's house.

snarkination! – (exc) -- an expletive spewed out over the keyboard when one realizes one has typed nitwittery.

snarkisms – (n) -– funny; e.g, an epileptic with a sleeping disorder, see snarkilepsy/snarkolepsy, not so funny.

snarkissistic - (adj) -- the state of being in love with Miss Snark, applies to all Snarklings and Mr. Clooney (!)

snarkitania - (n) -- the state where Miss S rules, where stilettos and gin are mandatory, Killer Yapp reigns as viceroy, and Mr C is a demigod. Not to be confused with Rabbitania, a whole 'nother country.

snarkite – (n) –- a follower of all things Snark.

snarkjection – (n) -- what I received in response to my query.

snarkocity – (n) – 1) the state of being Miss Snark; 2) the act of attempting to emulate Miss Snark; 3) the place where Snarklings hold their conventions.

snarkodelic – (adj) -- an author's mental state characterized by distorted perceptions along with hallucinations and feelings of euphoria and despair while attempting to adhere to guidelines established by literary agents in stilettos carrying small white dogs.

snarkogeddon – (n) -- the cleansing of the Snark email box.

snarkology – (n) --study of the snarkives.

snarkophagy - (v) -- the act of feeding on Snarkisms and/or Snarkasm (see above) for agent wisdom and knowledge.

snarkophagus – (n) -- where memorable nitwits are entombed forever in the snarkives (alt) - stone coffin in which one's literary career is entombed after once too often arousing the ire of Miss Snark.

snarkophant – (n) -- one who sucks up to Miss Snark in order to get something from her.

snarkophile – (n) -- a snarkling who visits writer's forums and offers advice, but every one of their posts starts with, "Well, according to Miss Snark..." (alt) one who adores Miss Snark because of her innate deity and snarkiness.

snarkophobia – (n) -- fear of literary agents in stilettos carrying small white dogs.

snarkotic - (n) –- a) a soothing, positive reply posted on Miss Snark's blog. 2. A short phrase meant to sharpen the senses of a writer in a non-productive, dream-like state, often requiring the addition of one or more ounces of gin. (adj) -- pertaining to, or resulting from exposure to a snarkotic, e.g., The author was in a snarkotic trance after winning the IOL contest.

snark-plug – (n) -- essential component in the firing mechanism of a clue gun

snarkspeak – (n) -- the distinctive jargon of snarklings and snarkophiles, which includes terms such as "nitwit" and acronyms such as "wtf?"

snarktasy – (n) -- what occurs after Mr. Clooney arrives at Miss Snark's lair.

snarky – (adj) -- setting free your inner Miss Snark when dealing with the nitwits you encounter in real life. Alternatively, as I recently discovered, British slang for being testy or irritable; short.

snarquery – (n) – a query that has much improved thanks to the expert advice of Miss Snark.

stilettosnark – (n) -- scar left on hapless authors who expose their nitwittery to Miss Snark.

WTS - (excl) -- "What the Snark?" the exclamation uttered when a (different) agent does something you cannot fathom.

Yappbiteitis – (n) - the act of having Miss Snark sic Killer Yapp on those who have offended or bored her.
'


compiled from comments column by Termagant 2
(who should be doing something called WRITING!!!)
but never mind that now; Thank You.

9 comments:

Toddie said...

I hope that's multiple definitions compiled by somebody. Regardless, some people have WAY too damn much time.

Anonymous said...

I want to *party* with these people! Most. Creative. Procrastinators. In the world!

Heidi the Hick said...

I have been ensnarked. I have snarkitis.

Hello. My name is Heidi and I am a snarkaholic.

Katherine Mariaca said...

snarkathon: what a snarkling does while waiting for a call-back from an agent....

Anonymous said...

That was snarkcore...

Laura Ware said...

Cool! I'm a snarkanthropist!

Jennifer McK said...

snarkaddiction: the disease of spending time coming up with Miss Snark related words due to a complete lack of inspiration.

snarkdrenaline: The resulting euphoria that comes from being able to write again complete with stiletto scars.

Susan said...

snarkoscopy: a procedure whereby an agent inserts a tube in the brain of a potential client to measure levels of cluelessness before making a decision re: signing

snakectomy: a high-risk procedure, performed only under optimal conditions, to remove unhealthy levels of cluelessness from a potential client

nbm said...

Well done over all, but I want to meet the person who came up with the "snarkeling" definition.