4.17.2007

Miss Snark loves lists

The Top Ten Things I've Learned from Miss Snark

10. It's not them, it's you.

9. Killer Yapp beat up your dog.

8. "Pay attention to detail," said _Ms._ Snark.

7. Setting one's hair on fire is a reasonable response to poor writing.

6. The 1000 monkeys on the 1000 typewriters may not actually write Hamlet, but at least their story wouldn't be set in Rabbitania.

5. Clue guns don't kill nitwits...yet.

4. There really are some decent people outside the 212. You know, like farmers.

3. Stilettos hurt. Especially when Miss Snark uses them to walk all over your manuscript.

2. THE WRITING IS MOST IMPORTANT.

1. ...after gin and George, of course.

14 comments:

Elektra said...

*starts to worry about the farmers in the 212. After all, Brooklyn can only grow one tree*

Judy Schneider said...

Re: #4 (paraphrased) The only decent people outside the 212 are farmers.

Hey, come on. What about Pittsburgh?

Heidi the Hick said...

#4. Yes! Farmers are decent people! Thank you Miss Snark!

Elektra said...

Okay, so I MAY have misread #4...

Katie said...

I think Killer Yapp would be swooning with desire if he met my dog... Winston could turn any fighter into a lover. He can also turn any stuffed animal into a lover.

flem snopes said...

4. There really are some decent people outside the 212. You know, like farmers.

Lisa Douglas, I love you!

I can't believe I grew up a healthy young American male untitillated by a town named "Hooterville."

Sean Lindsay said...

If there isn't already, there needs to be a drink called a Gin and George. It would sell like the Gin and Cary used to, back in the day.

I prefer a Vodka and Charlize myself, but it's hard to find someone who knows how to make it.

(Is it any wonder that Miss Snark is #1 on a Google search for "Gin and George" ?)

Cynthia Bronco said...

The Mel Gibson Hamlet, the Kenneth Branagh Hamlet, the Sir Lawrence Olivier Hamlet, or the Rabbitania Hamlet.... hmmmm, as if it weren't difficult to choose before...

metasailor said...

Snoop snarky snark:

"Rollin' down the cube,
firin' clue guns,
sippin' on gin and George.

"laid back.

"with my mind on the story and the story on my mind"

Sha'el, Princess of Pixies said...

Goatherds can be nice ... and cute too. So can antiquarian booksellers, historians, and pixies.

Dave said...

Pennsylvania has towns named Keister's Corner, Lover, Blueballs and Intercourse. None of which are tittilating to visit, see or hear about.
;)

princessnita said...

Call me stupid, but what is the 212?

Bill E. Goat said...

What's the 212?
What's the number of that?
Operator, operator, connect me to it, Jack!

I wan't to call Killer Yap!
My fingers would do the dialin'
And I'd be smilin'
If I only had em' Instead of hooves!
And that's a fact.

Bill E. Goat

takoda said...

Heidi, Here's to you and farmers in general! And to the whole frickin Western U.S.!

Dave, my favorite Pennsylvania town is Hazeltown. A silly little town I always pass through when I take I95 from Baltimore up North. Yanno,the mayor deported all the 'illegal' Mexicans and now no-one works there anymore. He was on CNN and everything....

But Keister's Corner could be a second favorite.