Dear Miss Snark,
I’ve got papyrophobia (fear of paper) and bibliophobia (fear of books). My therapist says my phobias are the most severe she’s ever seen, and there’s no hope of a cure for me.
I’ve written a novel (on my PC, as you might expect), and now the publication date is looming. I’m deathly afraid of seeing my novel rendered on paper, in the form of a book. And yet I’m thrilled that others will be able to pick up a copy and read it. I want to make sure the book is okay, but because of my phobias I can’t get anywhere near one.
So, since you’re in New York, and my publisher is in New York, would you be willing to pick up a copy, call me, and read it to me over the phone?
oh shur, no problem.
Is your phone number 648-9487?***
*clue: telephone numbers also have letters