Killer Yapp (activating Nextel two way collar radio): "Grandma Dog! Grandma Dog!"
Grandmother Snark: "KY? What's wrong?"
KY: Snark! Snark! Melting!
GS: Miss Snark is melting? I'll be right there, open the patio doors!
(Grandmother Snark rappels down east face of building and swan dives into Snark Central).
KY: Here! Here!
Grandmother Snark: (aghast) oh dear dog in heaven, hell must be freezing over, where are my skates, Miss Snark has tears running down her flinty cheeks!
Miss Snark: 300 plus comments on the blog retirement post. I thought I was tough. They got me! They really got me!
Grandmother Snark: And it's only Saturday night. I better buy stock in Kimberly Clark.