Miss Snark is Retiring

Two years; two million hits (2.5 actually as of 5/20/07);
yes, Miss Snark has run out of new things to say.

It's been an amazing run.
This blog wouldn't have been any fun at all without you, my devoted readers.

I know I'll miss hearing from you.
I hope you'll miss hearing from me.

Yes, the blog will stay up cause I'm pretty proud of what we did here. And by "we" I don't mean just me and Killer Yapp, I mean you too. You sent me questions, trusted me to snark your work, made "crapometer" an industry term and most of all, you gave me perspective on what it's like to be on the other side of the slush pile.

There will be a few more days of clean up as I close out my email and spruce up the blog roll.

You can reach me through Killer Yapp.

Thank you for everything.


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Anonymous said...

:P.N. Elrod shaves her head in mourning:


Anonymous said...

Cats sleeping with dogs (sorry Killer Yapp), birds flying backwards, Neighbours leaving the BBC all on the same day...it must be Snarkaggeddon. Thank you so much for all your help over the past year I've been reading your blog.
Thanks for introducing me to the world of blog (you were my first), to Evil Editor, to the whole realm of how not to get rejected quite so fast...
Good luck with everything
[word ver - ljpgehtv, the sound of my upper lip quivering]

Anonymous said...

You've been a source of snarky fun and wisdom for me and my writer friends. Thank you so much.

May the gin be with you.

KD Sarge said...

not to suggest you're a *gasp* good person or anything...but thank you so much for all you've given.

*sniff* Well. I guess I'll just go write something, then. *wibble*

Gay said...

I'm stunned.

Thanks, at least, for leaving the snarkives up... and for the time you've spent trying to get clues to the clueless of the world.

Wishing you Paradise Found in the arms of Mr. Clooney, a freezer full of steaks grilled to perfection for you and GC and KY as needed, a bottomless gin pail--and cabana boys all around for the sunscreen.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for all you've given. The Internet will be a darker place without the sparkle of your blog.

Anonymous said...

A couple pros told me about this site last year and also said to drink it up while I could because all good things come to an end.

Lots of good advice.

Thank you for helping me become a better writer.

*tips hat*

Anonymous said...

It's sad enough that the glorious Melinda Doolittle was bumped from American Idol. With the loss of the glorious Miss Snark, I am declaring a week of mourning.

Robin S. said...

I just found your blog a few months ago.

Thanks very much for what you've given.

Robin L. said...

Ah, Miss Snark! It was your blog that introduced me to the whole online world of publishing blogs and author communities. I will be forever grateful for what you've done here.

Thank you!


Anonymous said...

If someday you change your mind, no one will think the less of you. Rather, bells of joy will ring all across blogland.

In the meantime, thanks for everything.

Anonymous said...

Dear Miss Snark: R.I.P. (Represent in Peace)

It's kind of like attending your own funeral isn't it, with all these glowing eulogies? But I know we'll be seeing you someday soon on Larry King and/or Charlie Rose(you sitting behind a screen, profile obscured, voice distorted)--just give us a heads up as to when you're scheduled.
Till then....

Anonymous said...

Miss Snark, I think you were the catalyst for other agents and publishers to blog and provide insight into the publishing industry. Because of you, those of us aspiring to be published, and those of us who have and still have a few things to learn have some sound knowledge behind us.

I'll miss seeing the new entries, but am thankful you'll keep the blog up. It's a gold mine of information and will continue helping many more writers.

Very best to you.

Anonymous said...

Nooooooooooo! I haven't gotten to the query point yet. Who will be there to fire the clue gun at me when I do?

Good luck in future endeavors, thanks for everything you've done so far.

*goes to cry in the corner*

Cath Smith said...

I'm a better writer thanks to you and to the other experts who share their time and expertise. Thank you.

Anonymous said...

What a great gift you gave us!Thank you to the Snarkiest.

Anonymous said...

Oh, NOOO! Yours is the blog I check first (and the funniest).

I am sad and sorry, but certainly wish you the best.

You've given us a first class, graduate level education in publishing our writing, and the Snarkives are a National Treasure. Thank you.

Anonymous said...

Referring to the previous anonymous comment about bells ringing all across Blogland, should you someday return, they'll ring all across Rabbitania, too.

I'm in tears.

Anonymous said...


Some of us met you recently, and are addicted already. I know I have old posts to learn from, but...

Anguish. But thank you for all the good times and good advice

Anonymous said...

Thank you, Miss Snark. You've shared so much of your time, advice, agenting experience, wisdom, and snarkisms. It seems that I, too, was one of the many who started each day with a cuppa joe and a dose of your blog. I'm grateful for all that you gave and am even more happy to see you taking your leave while the going was still good---classy to the end. Grandmother Snark would be proud. I predict that the advice you've shared will continue to be passed among writers and hopefully you'll see the results in your submissions pile and your deeds will have gone full circle.
Warm regards and best of luck!

Anonymous said...

Sorry, the loud echoes are just an homage — me crying into a gin pail.

You've pulled so many of us from the abyss of ignorance and thrust us, screaming, into the light of your burning hair; how will we get through our morning starbucks without you?! How will we know who we have offended? How willl we know when we're obsessing?

The words, "Write well, query widely," shall be our daily mantra.

Ipsey said...

Thanks for all the laughs and the education, Miss Snark.

Anonymous said...

My first thought: "What?"
My second thought: "WHAT?!"
(checks to see if this is a joke, some previous announcement, something I've missed...)
My third thought: "Nooo..."

Tucking away all selfishness, there are no adequate words to thank you for all you have done for we writers, nitwits, hopefuls, dreamers and targets for clueguns -- however, I can say that it's been a ride well worth taking. I hope that the next one matches the rush.

We laughed. We winced. We cried. We tipped our hats and said, 'good-bye.'
You will be missed.

-- Yea, A Loyal Snarkling, The LitWitch

Danika Dinsmore said...

What was that noise? It was the collective gasp of fans everywhere when they checked in to your blog today.

I read a lot of blogs. But Snark Central was the only one I went to daily. I always looked forward to your advice, your snarkyness, and your sense of humour.

Wow. You will sincerely be missed. Thanks for the ride!

kris said...

Oh, no.

How is it possible to totally understand someone's decision, but still be totally heartbroken by it?

Ah, Miss Snark. The blogging world is going to be a lot less attractive from now on.

May the Force be with you.

Mrs V said...

I will miss you, Miss Snark. :(

Anonymous said...

Well, this rainy day just got more depressing...

Such a shame. But thanks for everything, Miss Snark.

r louis scott said...

Thank you for everything, Miss Snark. I am not nearly so stupid now as I was when I first started reading your blog. Perhaps I am one of the lucky ones, though, for I will now go back to Day One, which I was not around for, and read your advice from the beginning.

Fair winds and following seas, Miss Snark, you and your little dog too.

Maureen McGowan said...

Wow, Miss Snark! Thanks for the great ride.

I'm sure aspiring authors will be digging through the archives for years to come.

Anonymous said...

Wanted to chime in a note of thanks for all the tips.

Anonymous said...

Great, you made me cry!
I am going to miss you so much. Thank you for all the advice, and snarking. Thank you for all your time. I think you have managed to smack everyone of us writers with a clue gun at least once. It was great and horrible.
I hope I have become a better nitwit because of your advice.
I am going to miss you sooooo much!


Stephanie said...

Thanks for all the advice :)

Anonymous said...

Would you please change your mind so my mistress will stop crying ...


William (Bill) E. Goat, III

The Anti-Wife said...

Yes, I am still a nitwit. But I’m not as big a nitwit as I was before I started reading your blog in January.

I will go to my writers conference at the end of the month and instead of assaulting all the agents and publishers present and attempting to convince them why they NEED to represent me, I will sit quietly, listen, observe and learn.

The third draft of my manuscript is finished with a minimum of passive voice and without overusing the words that, just, really, very and all the other oft repeated unnecessary ones

I will refine my query, identify and research agents in my genre and query widely. I will not take rejection too personally and will use any comments to make my query letter and manuscript better.

All of these things, plus many others, I learned from you. You have no idea what a great service you have provided to us and how very much we appreciate it.

I respect your decision to retire from your blog but do hope you will consider posting occasionally to let us know how you are doing and to provide any tidbits of wisdom to make us better writers.

I won’t take you off my list of blogs I check frequently.

And, I will miss you.

Conda Douglas said...

You've been a great inspiration and prodder to this writer--and I can't count the times I've spewed various beverages out my nose...Thank you, Thank you. (and Thanks for the sticky keyboard too.)

Anonymous said...

Shit. I mean, shit. Did I say shit? What I meant was shit.

Aw, shit.

Anonymous said...

Nooooooo!!! How will I survive without my daily dose of Snarkitude?


You will be sorely missed. Thank you for all the words of wisdom. May the future bring good things to you and KY!

Anonymous said...

Thank you Miss Snark. Thanks especially for leaving up the blog so we can refer to it in the future.

You are priceless and will be missed!

Jillian said...

This is dreadful news. :(

Of all the "online writing/agenting gurus," you alone have profoundly affected my writing.

Anonymous said...

Dear Miss Snark,

I've been a lurking Snarkling almost the whole two years. You have taught me so very much and made me snicker, snort, and guffaw in the process. I've even read some of your posts to my husband and dinner guests--they were that good. The service you have rendered to all of us is unmeasurable.

I'll miss you.

And I'll keep my fingers crossed that you'll return to Blogland or write your own book about this cyber trip.

My best to you, KY, and all the Snark family.

Marion Gropen said...

Oh, dear. I can't even put together a coherent sentence.

The average level of nitwittery will rise. Clue guns will fall into disuse. Publishing will lapse into its pre-Snark state.

We should all take a moment to mourn.

Detail Muse said...

(raises glass)

"Two million cheers for Miss Snark!"

Petrea Burchard said...

I'm brokenhearted, and so glad to have been here for some of your wonderful run. Thanks for leaving the blog up. I'll refer to it often. I've read every post, including the snarkives.

They say when one door closes another opens. I hope this is true for us all. Congratulations, Miss Snark, on what you've achieved and on getting your life back. Thank you for sharing with us.

Anonymous said...

Noooo! I only started reading a few months ago!

But you are entitled to have a life. And I understand that. Know that you will be missed. A lot. Especially by me.

Have a great rest of your life,


PS: word verification: o god don go

Terry Odell said...

The one morning I don't start out with Miss Snark and I see THIS? Oh sadness. You most definitely will be missed.

Word verification: piewsudx seems appropriate somehow.

Chris Eldin said...

btw, this should be filed under "aw, hell." Not "housekeeping."

Laura K said...

All of a sudden, the melodic tune of K.C. and the Sunshine Band enters the space between her ears...puhlease don't go

(BTW: we won't think less of you if you play an Oprah Book Club-like return on us in future).

mai said...

Is this a joke? Please say it is. You just wanted a lil love for the weekend, yah??

Dear MS, I will miss you. You're a model of intelligence, generousity, and emotional stamina. I'm very grateful for all I have learned here.

Now please say it's a joke.

Anonymous said...

I went through withdrawal when Imus left the airwaves. Now I am going to be REALLY bummed out.

I got my daily dose of morning snark from old scrotum face himself, and then I had the comfort of knowing I could get Miss Snarked all day long, almost every day, and learn stuff, to boot...

And I was always laughing. And laughter is key, especially if you live in the down and dirty world of kids' books and celebrity "authors."

Oy. What a dark and dreary spring this is turning out to be.

So maybe now you'll write that novel about the Clooney chasin', tough talkin' , poodle pushin' chick in heels who takes no prisoners in the world of publishing.

Best wishes!

Anonymous said...

Thank you for two great years.

Your blog has been the single most educational and enjoyable resource I've found, as well as my favorite daily site stop. Thank you for all you've done, and for leaving the archives.

I've never teared up over a blog before. I knew agents could make writers cry, but this...

May happiness, gin, and fabulous clients come your way forever more.
And juicy meats to KY.

Katie Alender said...

Aw, man.

You'll be missed.

Greg said...

Dear Miss Snark,
I still consider it a point of honor that I made you laugh with my Pynchon haiku.
It's thanks to you I found agentquery & retoooled "Absurdities" for submission.
You have a place of honor on my bookmarks bar. I'm torn between two quotes:
"And so I close, realizing that the end has not yet been written") (Myst)
"So long, and thanks for all the fish."



Anonymous said...

There is only one curse word foul enough to befit such stinkin' rotten news: SARF. (Sh-t-ass-rat-f-ck).

But first, thank you MS and KY, for the hours of diversion and entertainment when what I really should have been doing was writing. You're an enabler, but a fun one.

You know you just really want more time to watch The Wire DVDs. All you had to do was say so.

Have you considered the withdrawal you yourself are going to go through? It will not be pretty -- writing posts in Notepad just to keep from getting DTs.

Now I must go drown myself in a gallon of ice cream.

Bill Peschel said...

Thank you. What more can I say?

I agree. You've had a great run and I appreciate your attention.

Now, all someone has to do is edit the entries and come out with a book!

That would be a suitable way to close this puppy out.

And thank you again.

MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

Just checking in to see if you've changed your mind yet.

Guess not.

I'll go back to crying in my appletini now.

Travis Erwin said...

There is not much I can add that hasn't been said on here, but I feel obliged to add my two cents.

THANK YOU and I hope all your kind and charitable work return tenfold for you. Yes, Dezspite the snark in your voice you truly provided a service to us writers. Thanks.

Anonymous said...

We love you Miss Snark! If I knew your address, I'd send a crate of gin and a box of bones for Killer Yapp.

Very good job and we will all miss you.

Anonymous said...

Oh no! I was an early adopter of your blog. For nearly the last 2 years I've read it several times a day. What am I going to do without my Snark fix? I'm going into Snark withdrawal already.

Thanks, Miss Snark. Best of luck in all your endeavors.

Anonymous said...

Thank you so very much. May the sun always shine on the 212.

A. Woodwork Snarkling

Anonymous said...

Running off with Clooney?

You'll be missed!

Anonymous said...

Aw shucks. Parting is such sweet sorrow. Pass the gin.

Anonymous said...

O... farewell to Rabbitania
That Snark-bound land;
May Her clue-gun long and fearsome be;
When I'm far away on the publishing shoals,
Will She ever light Her hair on fire for me?
Will She ever light Her hair on fire for me?

[sobbing softly into my newfie screech for a safe harbour now lost to me forever, I float away on waves of briny tears into the unknown and unkind waters of the cyber-ocean]


Christina said...

Me: here.
Rug: there.

Good luck on your next gig, whatever that may be.

Anonymous said...

I hope everything's okay in Snarkville. Know that thousands of writers are wishing you well.

You are irreplaceable, and you changed a lot of lives, mine included. If I avoid major nitwittery along the road to getting published and beyond, it will be largely because of you.

Thank you.

Anonymous said...

I'm coming out of lurkdom to say thanks, thanks, and thanks.

Anonymous said...

Thank you so much for everything. You will be missed.

Anonymous said...

Thank you soooo much for the inspiration to begin my book.

I read as others collected various kinds of clueguns, cluebats & outright clues and I've learned from them.

This blog gave me the courage to try it myself, because if the worst that could happen was someone saying "no", well piffle, that's no big deal. I'm still breathing right?

Thanks again,
Bill Bolton
Longmont, CO

Anonymous said...

Thanks so much for all you've done, Miss Snark. You'll be truly missed.

Unknown said...

Thank you-you helped me make a tricky decision about my career and here I am now, new agent, NY publishing deal...
please don't go!

Anonymous said...

I've often wondered how you managed to run such a terrific blog and (I assume) a great agency. Thanks for all your time and advice, including the shots from the clue gun! (I'm going to huddle in the corner now, sweating and shaking, in withdrawal from my daily dose of snark.)

Divine Bird said...

oh dear dog--this has been one of my 'check every day' sites and I have learned SO much. Thank you for two years of wonderful advice, straight shooting, and of course Killer Yapp. Best wishes to you, Grandmother Snark, and George (since we all know he'll be calling you any day now. :)

Anonymous said...

Oh no!!! Miss Snark, we'll all miss you. Thank you so much for all your wonderful advice; you've done so much for so many.

Anonymous said...

I am sure that I am one of many, who while never commented, visited often and learned more than I can properly express or thank you for.

Your candid advice, your intelligence, your sense of humor and your dedication to all things books will be sorely missed. There will be an empty space in all writing communities now where you used to be, ready to offer advice and clue guns as necessary.

More than your advice, I will miss your presence, which despite all your claims to the contrary, is one of the kindest I have found on the blogosphere. Blunt honesty in your case has definitely been it’s own form of kindness and encouragement.

So thank you for everything! We will miss you!

I wish you all the best with your future endeavors and may they all be as resounding a success as this one.


Jena said...

Like the nearly 300 commenters before me, I'll miss you -- your inspiration, your belief in us, your fearlessness, your honesty, and even your dreaded clue gun.

Thanks for a great ride!

Corn Dog said...


A Paperback Writer said...

I am throwing a tantrum.
I will kick and scream.
I am NOT amused.

Fine. Be that way. I'll just go sulk in a corner.

Angela said...

I have to echo all the comments above.

Thank you for the time you put into the blog and all the advice you have offered.

It sure has been an entertaining and educational read, a daily part of my web browsing routine and I am sure as hell going to miss reading this blog.

Again thanks for everything Miss Snark, and if you ever decide to compile all your helpful knowledge into a book I would be one of the first to buy it.

Aprilynne Pike said...

What!?!?!? Where am I going to get my writer's humor every morning??? Who else frequently uses the f-word to such levels of hilarity??

Regardless, you have been so appreciated and I, for one, will miss you.

Anonymous said...

Okay, I know they have a hard time reading human languages, so... if the squirrels are holding you hostage, BLINK TWICE.

Aw. Miss Snark, one day I'm going to query agents (widely!), and when I do, I will feel supremely more confident for all that you taught me. And I have also learned that, whatever mistakes I make, it's not the end of the world. (Particularly important for my personality type.) So thank you. I hope one day we learn who you really are so we know where to send the cards come Christmas.

And I hope you learned, too, that many of us really do appreciate a firm hand. You've made us stronger, not only as writers, but as people! And we will be eternally grateful.

(And my thanks as well to KY, without whose timely interventions we would be overrun by mailmen, squirrels, and WHATTHEHELLISTHATs. Good boy!)

Sandra Ruttan said...

Undoubtedly, others will try to replace you and steal your thunder, but there is no one who can fill the void you'll leave Miss Snark.

Really, it's a shame some agent didn't stroll by and see all the wisdom here and offer you a major deal to write Getting Published For Dummies.

Thank you.

Andy said...

Dammit, I should have taken advantage of that last Crapometer when I had the chance!

Beth said...

This seems so...sudden. Did I miss a clue somewhere?

Miss Snark, you will be SO missed. You leave behind a a great many better informed writers, but also a gaping hole in the blogosphere that no one can fill.

Anonymous said...

"Their mouths will hang open a minute or two, then the Whos down in Whoville will all cry...."

and us, too.

Take care.

Marianne Arkins said...


So sad....

wanders off to find a black armband

Unknown said...

Perhaps a summer vacation would do?

I hope so.

Vicki said...

I'll miss you! I've been mostly a lurker but I've been daily to read, laugh, learn, and oh yes even shake with fear at times.

I too hope that you and Killer Yapp will rise again.

You've taught us much with your snarky wisdom. For that I say thank you, thank you. You will be missed.

Anonymous said...

Oh Miss Snark, say it isn't so.

You have done such a service to the writing community, all out of the goodness of your snarky little heart.

Lounging Labrador and I will miss you very much. Thanks for the invaluable education.

Nicole said...

As my dear old Grandpa used to say (or some version thereof):

May the road rise up to meet you, may the wind always be at your back, and may you get to Heaven half an hour before the devil knows you're dead.

Happy trails to you, Miss Snark!

Anonymous said...

With props to Wille Wordsworth (while my own grief presently prevents me from concentrating on the dirge I dedicate to you, in due time, I will post again this very night):

She lived unknown, and few could know
When Miss Snark ceased to be;
But she is in her grave, and oh,
The difference to me!

rams said...



Anonymous said...

Holy crap-o-meter!

Anonymous said...

Miss Snark,

Oh, this can't be true! I've gained so much from you; it's been great being able to ask questions and receive answers from someone in the industry.

I'm so sorry to see you leave. Thank you for everything.

CL Taylor said...

Nooooooooooooooo! Don't go!

(But thank you for such a wonderful, insightful and snarky blog. You will be missed.)

Anonymous said...

One of the benefits of a mortal existence is that we can put life's moments in their proper perspective. You have been more than generous. It was a blessing to see the other side of the slush pile, indeed. Be well and happy.

Mirtika said...

I'm real sorry to see you go Miss Snark. This has been a daily blog stop for me. And I've often linked to one of your helpful posts.

May George Clooney land on your doorstop with chocolate and the best bottle of gin on the planet.


Anonymous said...

Wishing you amny many best sellers on your client list.
When I sell my first book, and I will, I'll attribute it to what I've learned here, in much laughter, with you and the snarklings, and last but not least Killer Yapp

Anonymous said...

I'm crying. I'll miss you. Thank you for your generosity. You've made the world a better place.

Anonymous said...

I, for one, will definitely miss you.

I am glad you are keeping the blog up. I have decided, after being exposed to a writer friend of mine and your blog, to write a book! I will reference your site in times ahead when the book is finished and it's time to try to get it published!

A bone for Killer Yapp, some really excellent gin, and my highest regards,


Anonymous said...

You've broken my heart.

To be dumped without warning after 2 years of faithful devotion to your every word. I am bereft.

Thank you for everything. For all the good you have done, good karma will return thousand fold back to you. I think you are a wonderful human being and I will miss your wit every day for the rest of my life.


Anonymous said...

Damn, this makes me really sad. I've only been a visitor for the past few months, but yours was probably the only RSS feed I followed very closely. I was going to submit a question which I don't think you've answered before, too. :(

At least I've got the archives to read through.

Sandra Cormier said...

Whaaaat?????? I go out for one lousy day to shop in Toronto and this happens? Was it me?

This is a sad day.

We'll miss you.

Edie Ramer said...

I feel sad already. Thanks for leaving up the blog. It will help me get through the withdrawal pains.

Anonymous said...

I felt a great disturbance in the Snark, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced.

Anonymous said...

Your Wonderful Snarkness,

I will miss your knowledge of the publishing industry, along with your delightful sense of humor. Please know that you have made a positive difference in the world. Dog bless you!

Anonymous said...

I guess I should be glad that I will no longer be tempted to read Miss Snark instead of getting my work done, but...


Anonymous said...

Miss Snark,

I haven't often posted in the comments section of your blog; this is largely due to holding either my infant or toddler (or both) while I am online, which makes typing difficult. However, I love what you've done with this blog and I just wanted to tell you:

Since I discovered your blog well over a year ago, I made it my homepage. I will definitely miss seeing your snarky comments first thing when I get online from now on.

Thanks for everything!
Rachel Dryden

Anonymous said...

Dear Miss Snark,

As one of the first to discover you, I would like to thank you.

As always,
I heart Killer Yapp

Maggie Robinson/Margaret Rowe said...

And just when I was going to link to you on MY blog...

Thank you for calling my crapometer entry a "spun-sugar gimmick." That was exactly what I was going for, even if you didn't mean it as a compliment!

The blogosphere will not be the same without you, and neither will the snarklings, now doomed to our own dubious devices.

Free at last! Thank dog almighty, you are free at last. Very best wishes.

canwag said...

I'm a newcomer to your blog, Miss Snark, but after having read all the previous posts (it took about two weeks of steady reading, too) I feel much more confident in tackling the industry should I ever finish my magnum opus. Thank you for your wit, your charm, and yes, your snarkiness. I feel sure your blog will live on in perpetuity for countless nitwits to peruse and, hopefully, learn from. All Hail Miss Snark!

canwag said...

Oh, and P.S., Miss Snark... write the Book of Snark!!! Your expertise and insight need to be documented for posterity!

Anonymous said...

I'll miss your insight and frank wisdom.


Be well.

Maria said...

Well, rats. I guess us snarkling birds are being pushed out of the nest. Ouch. Don't wanna go.

Guess we owe it to Miss Snark to do some flying. Or at least some heavy duty flapping in the attempt!!!!

Thanks for everything, Miss Snark. XOXOXO

Anonymous said...

I'll miss you. Thanks for everything.

Anonymous said...

Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened. ~Theodor Seuss Geisel

You've brought many smiles. Here's looking at you, Miss Snark.

Anonymous said...

I have learned much, been endlessly amused, and am forever grateful for your tireless work. Checking your blog daily will be a hard habit to break.

Thank you for all you have done for us.

Anonymous said...

For the rest of my life, whenever I see a movie with George Clooney, I'll think of you and raise a glass. :)

ryandake said...


ok altho i can totally understand why you might want to retire,


it's been such an enlightenment and a pleasure to read your blog, miss snark. and you are due a zillion karmic points for your uncompensated advice to us newbies.

you will be truly missed...

Emily Marshall said...

Wow...this is HUGE news. I'm definitely going to miss this blog. You're advice has been extremely helpful to all of us.

Anonymous said...

I've never commented before but, before you leave, you should know to add another aspiring author to the roll call of those you've mentored.

Thank you.

Anonymous said...

But a slip of light stays:

I too have learned a lot, as much if not more about my writing passion as about the details of the craft. I've been snarky myself-- most of my few comments haven't seen the light of day- but I greatly appreciate your time, effort, intelligence, kindness and humor. I remember you like Jane.

Three Times My Life Has Opened

by Jane Hirshfield, published in The Lives of the Heart

Three times my life has opened.
Once, into darkness and rain.
Once, into what the body carries at all times within it and starts
to remember each time it enters the act of love.
Once, to the fire that holds all.
These three were not different.
You will recognize what I am saying or you will not.
But outside my window all day a maple has stepped from her leaves
like a woman in love with winter, dropping the colored silks.
Neither are we different in what we know.
There is a door. It opens. Then it is closed. But a slip of light
stays, like a scrap of unreadable paper left on the floor,
or the one red leaf the snow releases in March.

(apologies to Jane for the formatting)

Anonymous said...

Oh my. I'm late getting here to see this, but I'll miss you something fierce!!

Please know how much I appreciate everything you've done for us writers and the help you've so freely given. I wish you the best of luck and much happiness.

Anonymous said...

Dear, dear Miss Snark,

Thank you. You gave me hope.

No matter what happens with my writing, I will forever be able to tell myself, "Yes, all right, but Miss Snark said she loved my crapometer pages. Miss Snark said they were perfection on toast points. I must be a writer."

Where can we send flowers? Or perhaps contributions to a favorite charity? Think of all the good that could result from an outpouring by bereft but grateful snarklings. Let us know.

*toddling off to the snarkorphanage now... whimper*

Anonymous said...

Oh, Miss Snark, no! *sniff* But--but--you haven't labeled me a nitwit yet and you told me to keep trying! Whoever will call me a nitwit now?

*Sigh* Alright, if you must go, know this. You truly did help me and I attribute the fact that I'm getting published early next year because of you. (Never mind the fact you don't *do* romance!)

Give Killer Yapp my love and here is a pail of my finest gin. We love you!!!

Unknown said...

The selfish part of me says, but I'm not done enjoying Miss Snark!

But if you really mean it (sniff) then please know that I've had untold hours of pleasure and information from reading your blog. When I hear from aspiring authors, I always direct them to Miss Snark. I still will, but gee (sob) I am really going to miss your wit and insight.

Best of luck and thanks. Really, really thanks.

Anonymous said...

Dear dog. May George Clooney stalk you in places other than your dreams.

Thanks for all that you've done for writers everywhere.

I'll miss the updates, but I'll console myself with re-reading the archives.

Over and over. *sniff*

Anonymous said...

God's work, you did, Miss Snark. You saved many hours of many thousands of writers and editors and agents, and you gave up your own hours to do so. Many thanks indeed.

Anonymous said...

Thank you! You've blessed us in many ways.

Anonymous said...

Yikes! I finally did some actual writing today, holding off checking in until I finished five pages. And look what happened in my absence (in the name of self-discipline.) I have never commented before, choosing to learn from the other nitwits and ducking the clue gun, but you have helped me so much.
Thank you--two million plus hits later. I will miss you more than Seinfeld.
Best of everything to you!

Scott Bartlett said...

I've been reading your blog but not commenting for some time. I just wanted to say that I've learned a lot, and am now less of a nitwit than I might have been.

All the best,


M. C. Pearson said...

You will be missed. No doubt.

Anonymous said...

Over 300 posts on a Saturday?

I think this means Miss Snark should reconsider. Otherwise, she will surely be responsible for an international epidemic of despair, despondence and, yes, I'll say it -downright nitwittery.

Has Miss Snark considered downsizing rather than retiring? Couldn't she eliminate email replies and simply post periodically on her thoughts and the industry in general?

She could at least wean us off gradually. Cold turkey is too cruel by far.

Amy said...

I'm only a relative newbie to your blog... Only discovered it about 4 months ago.... But it is one of only about 4 site that I actually keep up with. You've given us all so much help and inspiration. I'm glad at least that I'll still have the joy of going through the snarkives and discovering new information.

Thank you. We're all better writers because of you.

*hugs* to KY.

Zen of Writing said...

A sad surprise ending.

Anonymous said...

I'll miss you. Thanks for the gift of your advice, and you can add me to the list of those who would love to see new occasional blog commentary.

wannabe_nitwit said...

Thank you.

I recommended your blog to so many people, and I will continue to do so. You are the best (and most honest) writing resource on the web, or hell, probably better than most if not all books.

If I get published, it will at least be in part because of you.

You will be missed.

Word verification: gnivzwkv - the state of being so overcome and bereft that one can no longer form real words

Unknown said...

I miss a couple days - and the world ends! Please let this be your evil twin. And I know better than anhyone one about... eveil twins...

Geminipen said...

*Runs to check calendar to see if it's April 1.*

No. No! You were my first friend in the writing world! I will be forever proud to state that I got torn to shreds in your crap-o-meter.

You're awesome. I've often wondered how you managed it all...Clooney, blog, agent, KY, Grandmother Snark, Clooney, conferences, Clooney.

We'll miss you.

Sariah Wilson said...

Miss Snark, if there's any chance you will change your mind, please don't retire.

But if you must, I have to thank you for the guidance and directions. This is one of the few blogs I check every day, and I will miss you.

May you have Clooney wishes and gin dreams.

Unknown said...

I just checked in with my (still soggy) evil twin - and he checked with the Evil Twin network - and sure enough - this is the work of... Miss Snark's evil twin. She has temporarily taken over the blog while the real Miss Snark is being held hostage in Winslow Arizona by the Crapometer.

Unknown said...

You will be missed.

The Grump said...

Thank you for being there when I decided to try my hand at fiction.

I'm still a "nitwit". But -- If I ever get the distinction between a query and a synopsis through my thick skull, you will be partly responsible.

Thank you again for making it all so funny.

Anonymous said...

I have to say, I am depressed.

Will we miss you? Does a poodle have fleas?

This is the most significant event in the arts since Gary Larson retired in 1995.

Maybe more so.

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...


No! No! No!

Pleeeeeeze no!


Please with a gin bucket on top?

There aren't a lot of blogs for writers that are truly useful. This is one of them.

Anonymous said...

I've been here almost every day since I found you about six months ago. I guess I will start at the beginning and read it all over again...and again...like my favourite book.

I learned a lot :) Thanks.

Linda C. McCabe said...

Miss Snark,

I hope that even in your retirement from regular blogging that if something makes me want to grab your clue gun that you'll share your insights with us Snarklings.

Similarly, should you want to share with us your thoughts on the Authors Guild/Simon & Schuster dust-up that you will do so. Or anything else from the publishing world.

I understand if you do not wish to continue to be inundated with questions that were answered in one form or another 6 months ago.

Even if we only hear from you two or three times a month, it still would be better than if you were to leave us completely.

I'll still have your feed in my Google Reader in the hopes of some new witticism coming my way.

Thank you for everything that you have done and continue to do for writers and the writing community at-large.

Tristi Pinkston said...

Miss Snark,

You are one of a kind and will be sorely missed. Thank you for all you've done.

The Little Writer said...

Ack! You can't retire, where will I get my advice, or my dorky amusement or all of the wonderful things this blog does for me! I'd just started reading, too...

Well I'll miss you and KY. *tear*

Anonymous said...

Hoping to sneak in here before she shuts the comments off.

I'm going to miss Miss Snark most of all because she's a funny writer with an incredibly quick mind, able to drop references from art and literature next to potboilers and old TV, and do it all unpretentiously and without regard to how many readers understand the references in the first place.

Do you have any idea how many times I read something obscure here and believed that no more than four of us could possibly have gotten that reference, and felt grateful? Do you have any idea how few people can riff like that?

Only good stuff should happen to you, Miss Snark. And if that means your practice grows fabulously successful and your private life fabulously rewarding, well, of course the blog must go.

You done good.

Anonymous said...

I'm an irregular reader who has enjoyed this blog whenever I've checked in but won't die without it.

This retirement announcement strikes me as cruel and manipulative. Like you didn't see this outpouring of love coming? Please. If you'd told me what you were planning a week ago, I would have bet my entire savings account on the occurrence of precisely what has occurred.

You've created a relationship with your readers and now you're dumping them. Yeah, yeah, you didn't know how time-consuming it would be and nothing that's happened over the past two years clued you in? Fine, whatever.

Choosing the Big-Deal Swan Song over the not-such-a-big-deal cutback in posts guarantees you a lot of fond farewells, but it's still as manipulative when you do as when Sinatra or Cher or name-your-cult-following-has-been did it. It's a transparent call for protests and "we love you's." If you need the "we love you's" that badly, fine - take 'em and go. But it's still a shitty, manipulative, disingenuous way to handle it.

Miss Snark said...


Anonymous said...

Definitely time to hang it up!

Anonymous said...

Ditto on the last 351 comments.

canwag said...

To "Somebody might as well say it said..." :

Sounds like sour grapes to me. You wouldn't know altruism if it hit you in the face. One can only be selfless for so long before something has to give.

I'd say Miss Snark has more than earned her retirement; her saying so on her blog wasn't as calculating as you make it out to be. She knew we'd all worry if she just dropped out of sight. This way we know she's healthy, happy, and still snarking away in the real world.

Whirlochre said...

It's been fun checking in each morning for the stiletto heel dawn chorus of nails struck on heads.

Let's just hope the Nitwittery-R-Us franchise doesn't sneak into the vacuum you'll be leaving behind....

Anonymous said...

Awww--I just found you! Oh well, at least I'll still be able to read the archives. :) Thank you for leaving them up--a wealth of vital information indeed. You will be sorely missed.

WordVixen said...

I've learned so much from you. I've found amazing authors through your posts and comments. I have a whole new appreciation for gin not in relation to tonic with a twist of lime. And I will miss your daily wisdom and general snarkiness (and occasionally specialized snarkiness as well).

My husband says that he hopes this means he'll get a bit more attention, but I'm hoping that KY will use this opportunity to update his blog.

We miss you already.

Jennifer said...

I've loved reading your blog. Your voice is fantastic and will be sorely missed.

Anonymous said...

I've been lurking for over a year now. Daily reading, laughing, and learning. I will miss you and your humor with your pithy takes on writing, agenting, and publishing.

For the two years, the caring, modeling your respect for literature, writers, and agents...and readers, for so much more...

Thank you.

Anonymous said...

Even my MS is wearing black right now...I have sent a keg of gin to KY via his mistress...look for it in the mail.

*crying...* WTF am I going to do without the clue gun?

You have been great and the four letters you answered of mine helped me dearly.

I hope you are leaving for reasons of wanting to be free of the stuff that bogs your days down instead of something more serious.

Will deeply miss you.

Anonymous said...

Please know how very much your blog has meant to so many of us who want to become published authors. Each minute you spent on it was a blessing to us. Your humor brightened our days and your knowledge guided us in our writing. May dog bless you richly.

Nicole Gibeaut

Anonymous said...

By the time this comment gets moderated through, I imagine "somebody might as well say it" will have gone down in a gin-feulled wall of flame, but here's my two cents.

If you are an infrequent visitor, and you don't care whether she comes or goes, why comment at all? Are you jealous of the love? Or are you just a mean-spirited dipstick who can't let anything good be applauded without trying to turn it into something bad?

Butt out. Go comment to people who care. We don't.

With sincerity, but absolutely no regard, Imelda (who isn't afraid to be identified as the author of my comments)

PS: btw, it should have been 'may' not 'might' in your pseudonym - but you aren't interested in helpful advice, offered freely, are you? My mistake.

Anonymous said...

Thank you, Miss Snark and Killer Yap. You'll live forever in my heart and my hard drive.


Marlo said...

Well, now we all have to get snarkier to take up the slack. No wait, some of us are already on a fine edge of snarky...

But we *do* all need to stock up on cluegun ammo. If you haven't yet, grab some boxes, people. We'll all need to shoot ourselves sooner or later.

For talking about the business of stories, and the love of them, with joy and wit, and ever refusing to lie about it, you will be remembered, Miss Snark.

When I do something silly, something most sane people wouldn't notice, and yet I want to curl in a ball of pointless shame and hyperventilate, instead I say "I am my own nitwit. I am my own nitwit every day." And, strangely, I feel better.

More than contracts or Clooney, I think the best thing to take away from this blog is the visceral certainty that you'll screw up. But you can do better tomorrow.

Lisa66 said...

Thanks so much for two fantastic years. Not sure how I'll spend my procrastination time now.

Could someone please pass the gin pail?

Anonymous said...

You know that phrase "I can't thank you enough"? I always thought that was a cheesy cliche, but it's true - I really can't thank you enough for how much you've helped me with my writing and - of course - for all the times you've made me laugh until whatever I was drinking came out of my nose. Thank you.

Unknown said...

Wow... 'Somebody Might As Way Say It'... needs to have his meds checked...

Sten Düring said...

This alter ego of yours will be missed. Thanks for all.

Stacia said...

Going to miss you terribly, Miss S...you already know that.

Might you be stopping by once in a great while, just to say hello to us all?

Unknown said...

Aw man! I JUST started reading your blog, and now you're retiring! Well, needless to say, I'll miss you Miss. Snark! And all your snarkyness. :3 Your words and "voice" will be truly, TRULY missed!

Anonymous said...

It takes great courage to move on and I wish you all the best. You've given us so much - now do what's right for you.

Thank you for everything.

~ Elizabeth

Richard Lewis said...

Ah, Miss Snark, please ignore the assholes. Some people just can't stand love.

astrologymemphis.blogspot.com said...


I don't know whether to give you a standing ovation, and shower you with roses, or ask for a moment of silence.

You already know how very much I'll miss you. I haven't cried this much since I had to slice the onions while on kitchen duty with Grandmother Snark. Blessings on your path, wherever it takes you, and those of Grandmother Snark, and Killer Yapp, too.

Ellen said...

Thanks. I learned so much here.

Good luck, MS!

Anonymous said...

Oh! Your blog has been a complete addiction - the first thing I look at when I go to my computer . . . the best fun and the best information.

Big big thanks from an Aussie lurker . . . (sniff). (And how will we know what KY is up to? It's like coming to the end of a great novel.)

Erica Ridley said...

If it weren't for your Crapometer this December, I never would've written Trevor & the Tooth Fairy and found my writing niche. When you requested follow-up pages and gave your encouragement on that and the initial hook, you zapped me out of my multi-month writing slump and the words just poured from my fingers. In fact, the response to the queries for my completed story has been great, and I thank you and the Crapometer for my success with that! You really are an inspiration. You'll be missed.

Erica Ridley

Anonymous said...

Will miss you! Will miss you!! Will miss you !!!

*big sigh*


Pageturners said...

Aw hell indeed! Just as I'd discovered this great blog. Come back, do.

Anonymous said...

Noooooooo! Please, not gone away gone! How about one blog a week? Is there a Snark patch? Cold Turkey sucks.

I will miss you.

Kelly McCullough said...

Thanks for good advice given with good entertainment. I'll miss you and I'll be sending students and writing proteges to your archives for year to come.

Eika said...

What I learned from Miss Snark:

I learned what query letters are, what synopsis's are, and the difference between them.

I learned how to tell a scammer from reputable agents.

I learned of P&E, Bat Segundo, and more other places and people than I can count.

I learned that checking through a novel five times for errors is not just reasonable, but recommended.

I learned personal notes were encouragement, but that no two agents are exactly alike so if no two comments agree don't change much.

I learned when I should start going to writers conferences and what not to do there.

I learned that nothing matters so much as writing well, and querying widely.

Thank you so much, Miss Snark. For all that I listed above, and for the things that can't be named- but are worth far more.

And please- check in with us every now and then, every month or so tell us how you're doing and accept a few comments on it, and if the nitwits thicken again start anew.

Anonymous said...

Dear Miss Snark,

You were always my favorite daily addiction. Thanks for the memories.


Anonymous said...

Dammit, this really sucks. We get one straight shooter who is able tell her ass from a hole in the ground and she just goes off in the blog sunset.

Yeah, it's selfish of me. So, what?

Anonymous said...

That's a sad day.

Thanks for all the help you've given me - mostly unnoticed by you, since I read much more than I commented.

All the best for you, Miss Snark.

- Firlefanz

Anonymous said...

DON'T leave us. Who else can give the smackdown WWW advice like you?

I'll miss you too.

Thanks so much for the fun, the laughs and the smackdown.
xo Future Famous Writer

Anonymous said...

I've been querying agents and editors for thirteen years. Have the rejections to proove it. This time I found one who works in my genre. Wonder of wonder, where did I learned that? I did not tell this editor where I went to school, how many children I have, or what I like to do in my spare time. I told her where I heard about her and why I thought she might like my novel. Miss Stark's words were not wasted on me. In the first of the eight pages I sent with the query, I killed off a character and set the scene for more mayhem to come. Straight from the crapometer. Now, what do I do if she buys the novel? How will I thank you? You will be gone.

Anonymous said...

'Thank you, Miss. Snark' - I'm sure many authors will have reason to put those words in their acknowledgements over the coming years.

All the best.

Beth said...

NO! NO, tell me it isn't so!

I don't care if you have said it before. I like listening to the Snark.

Maybe just more ruthless pruning of the email?

Throw out every third message unopened?

EE is great, but he isn't the Snark.

Please don't go. Sob!

We'll still love you if you post less often. We'll still love you if you answer few emails. Please, don't leave us without the light of your flaming hair to guide us.

No, just no ... whimper ...


Anonymous said...


You are top notch, MS.

Best to you, KY and Grandmother Snark.


Anonymous said...

A heartfelt thanks for all your help, Miss Snark. You have made a tremendous difference for me!

If it is true that 'what goes around comes around', you've got some really good stuff headed your way after the generous and entertaining way you've shared yourself and your knowledge through this blog.

Anonymous said...

Danke, Frau Snark. (I do hope that was right-I don't actually have any fluency in German whatsoever.) The site has been incredibly useful. You'll be missed.

Anonymous said...

Thank you so much for all you've done here - I've learnt an enormous amount, and the entertainment value has been huge too.
Thank you for leaving the blog up. I agree with the poster who asks that you visit us from time to time - maybe you can surprise us with a pithy comment now and then when something in publishing cyberspace is in particular need of your cluegun?


Anonymous said...

I admire you, Miss Snark, for going when you felt your work here was done and for not just hanging on, basking in the adulation of the Snarklings (and, yes, I am one). I learned a lot from you, and will forever be grateful.

Etoiline said...

We'll miss the Snark. Thanks so much, it's been an amazing learning experience. Enjoy George, and give KY a pat for me.

Patrick Gabridge said...

Wow. I'm so sad to see you go. I only started reading about a month ago, and your blog has been a great source of help and inspiration. (I send writers your way all the time.) I'd save up the day's posts on your blog for sort of a treat at the end of each day.

I wish you and Killer Yap many snarky adventures (hopefully with Mr. Clooney)

Anonymous said...

Dear Miss Snark,

I went online this morning (coffee cup in hand) and there was the news (gasp!). And, finally, after 13 years of Catholic school, I stopped shuddering when I saw the word Satan. Thank you for all you've done. As a new writer, I would have committed countless acts of nitwitery without you and the bloggers. You created a whole community of writers who truly want to improve their craft and to better understand the publishing world. You're funny as hell too. You're so funny I had a couple of my co-workers reading your blog and they're not even writers. Good luck to you Miss Snark (Killer Yapp and Grandmother Snark too). We will miss you!

Anonymous said...

I've been reading you from your genesis! This was such a shock.

I participated in one of your first crapometers and your response was great and it carried me through to finish the damn thing. And then it sold big. You're in my acknowledgments, and I'm in your debt, dear Miss Snark.

Thanks for everything.

Anonymous said...

I prefer to think of the cluegun as a Zen master's kyosaku, the stick to beat enlightenment into recalcitrant souls. I certainly had a sense of query letter satori after reading about 500 hook entries over a 3 day period.

I second the motion that we all implore Miss Snark to make one last post on the Simon & Shuster contract changes.

Anonymous said...

Thank you, Miss Snark. Your time and effort are greatly appreciated. Not only have you have winnowed many gonnabees from the wannabees, your legacy shall be the litmus test for all who follow.

*twenty-one cluegun salute*


Unknown said...

Later dude.

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