Miss Snark shops at Alphabeta of course**

Dear Miss Snark,

There are approximately 6,800 spoken languages in the world, but only around 2,200 of them have writing systems. That leaves 4,600 languages that don’t have alphabets. When I saw that data I pounced on the opportunity, and I’ve just completed my new book titled “How to Invent an Alphabet”.

But I can’t print the book in any of those 4,600 languages, because they don’t have alphabets yet! And if it’s published as an audio book, those people might not see the need for an alphabet in the first place.

I know my book will be a best seller if I can get past those tiny little details. Any suggestions?

Who wouldn't want to have books and a library after seeing this

**when she's not down to the PigglyWiggly of course


Anonymous said...

Write it in English. Most people in the world speak and write in English, even if their native language has no alphabet.

Prank letter or not, I can think of worse things than taking after Saint Cyril. Best of luck.

Betsy O'Donovan said...

Well, it's not a publishing contract, but you might want to look at the work that's already being done by JAARS and the Wycliffe Bible Translators; that's kind of their thing.

A meaty bone to Killer Yapp.

Anonymous said...

Gosh I'm still laughing after watching that. My mum is a librarian and I can't even imagine what she would do if students starting singing in the middle of the reading room.

Pepper Smith said...

PigglyWiggly. Do they have those in New York? We had one, but it's been gone about 20-25 years.

Anonymous said...

I think some writers of fantasy would love that book when they're creating new cultures.

MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

That was hilarious. Miss Snark, you enlighten every day. Now, off to watch every single YouTube video that group has made!

Anonymous said...

OOoooh the Pig! The only grocery store in my little Alabama town.

Yes, it's a funky name. But it makes as much sense as Shoprite! And it doesn't have weird cart escalators either.

As for the book, I'd say - do translations in their languages on audio. Transition them into a written alphabet by sending written books to go with the audio. Then ship them Campbell's Alphabet soup in their own new language. Follow with a Pig in every town.

Can literacy be far behind?

susanna in alabama

Unknown said...

Oh. My. Geez. That video was the funniest thing I watched all day! I think I liked the confused looks of the non-participants the best. XD

Noel Griese said...

I will say something nice about your retirement from the blogosphere in the next issue of the Southern Review of Books, which posts on June 15.