Hi! The author (name redacted to preserve that poor sucker's identity) recommended your website. Do you have any tips for getting a literary agent? Can YOU be my literary agent? Will you be at the book expo in late May?
-Thanks
No
No
Yes
Major clue: When someone directs you to a website, generally it helps to read more than the title before you fire off an email.
47 comments:
See, we even check up on you when you're not really here.
:)
Miss Snark, we've really missed you. So glad I checked tonight, just in case! I guess you missed us too, just couldn't resist posting, huh? Always good to hear about a new nitwit.
Some of us were suffering from worse withdrawal symptoms than others, and the impatient have been rewarded. Hurray!
You're back!!! I'm so GLAD.
Lol. Glad I'm not the only one, Lisa!
"Will you be at the book expo in late May?"
Just look for the poodle with a machine gun.
(I send writers to your blog all the time, but perhaps I should start explaining to them WHY.)
I want to see some Miss Snark burning some query letters. I want to see photos of her sharp heels grinned the ash into the dirty pavement. Thats what i want to see.
Oh god. I tell my students to come here all the time. I hope none of them end up nitwittering out.
Good to see you back your snarkiness.
Hurray, you posted. :)
She's back!
Hahahaha
Hey... wait a minute. That was my email...
LOL! Hey, Miss Snark, you're back two days early. Great, cause we missed ya! :*)
Oh thank dog you're back. I tried, I really did, I tried to amuse myself with a Snarkian attempt. But I don't drink gin and that proved to be a stumbling block. So, would you have recommended confetti or glitter?
;)
Dear Miss Snark,
Will you be at the Goat Show in ***** on the 31st? Wanna read my new novel? It's about Goat-Girls gone wild. ... No no no! Not that kind of wild! Sheesh!
They get .... are you readin' ANY of this? ... lost in the big woods when The Princess goes frolikin' after some cute ...
I have to go now. Apparently I need a bath. Goats hate baths. If i trott of now, she won't catch me for most of the day ...
Tell KY hi and tell him I had a great time at The Beach. Oh, I still have fifi's phone number if he's sure he wants it. I suppose female French Poodles are nice, but there's nothing like a French Alpine!
Okay, gotta run. I'll call you from Moe's sometime tomorrow, assuming I escape the bath. I'm heading for the coast!
Best,
William E. Goat, III
Good to see you back in the blogosphere, Miss Snark. I suppose you've heard that your man Clooney has made TIME magazine's 100 Most Influential People in the World? Surely this great news compensates somewhat for the nitwittery ever haunting your doorstep.
Heh, I can hear you now: I won't be back until the 5th...EXCEPT FOR THIS ONE NITWIT POST OMG.
Because some snarks just can't wait.
Sigh. I am ALWAYS recommending that new writers check out your site for tips. That poor sucker could have been me.
I suppose this happens to all writers. The second anyone gets published (in fact, with me, the second an article appeared about the book), you start getting emails that say something like: "I haven't read your book yet, but I probably will. I am thinking of writing a book and can you tell me how to get it published and run a national marketing campaign for it?"
And of course, I say, "Why there are EXCELLENT websites that explain so much about the publishing industry. Why don't you check out Miss Snark, for example?" And pass the buck.
So now I feel guilty.
Shortest week ever! I am most glad! Welcome home Miss Snark!
Now that I know you'll be at the BEA I am going to keep an extra close watch on any and all agents in spiky heels with Killer Yaps. Hmm . . . maybe I'll hire a private detective to up my chances . . .
Welcome back.
Miss Snark, I have this great idea for a romance fantasy urban western that involves a duck, a six-shooter and a harem of old maids. Also, a bull in a casket. Tell you what, you write 'em, I'll come up with the ideas, and we'll split the take. We'll make tons of money, honey, and the dog can have a share, too--
Oh, crap. I recommend your blog all the time. In fact, I've often stated on the AW boards in response to writers' questions: "Miss Snark says this. Miss Snark says that. Go look at Miss Snark."
I've never said "Miss Snark should be your agent" -- not even as a joke. Still... from now on, I shall do as Simon Haynes suggests, and explain why I recommend that one visit Miss Snark...
You're early.
I know how opposed you are to profiteering, but maybe you could come up with a nice Miss Snark board game so that we may amuse ourselves in your absence.
I'm still hopeful for action figures and t-shirts.
Welcome back!
I agree with laura f. Once you become published, some people want you to do all the work for them. One guy came up to me at a writer's conference, pen in hand, and asked me for the name and address of my agent. I had never even met this guy (but I'll bet he was pumped with a great book idea that would rival Harry Potter).
I should have sent him to Snarkville. Next time, I will!
I think its amusing that so many of us are here, on a blog that's still supposed to be dark for a couple more days, instead of tending to our own manuscripts or blogs or lives.
I'm glad I'm not the only one with a slight case of Snarkaholism.
Such a lovely devotion of snarklings; all gathered to worship our WTF goddess.
If you click your stilettos three times and murmur, "There's no place like home," do you magically arrive back in NY or does a bottle of gin naturally appear in your hand?
I've been a loyal lurker for months now. Glad you're back... I couldn't stay away either... I checked every day just to make sure... who needs drugs when you have snark?
Has anyone seen or heard from George Clooney during Miss Snark's absence? HmmMmmm...
I always wonder why people [we] blog and then I read the comments after the posting!
[Not that I would in any wish to infer that your words of wisdom...]
Cheers
Oh, I'm so glad you're back! I was starting to get the shakes...
-Bitter
Adrienne, you are aware, sand doute, that the formidable Miss S probably attends these events in frumpy flats, with a cat carrier firmly in hand? She didn't just fall off the recycled paper truck yesterday, yanno...
T2
She's back...
And two days early, even!
WooHoo!
You're back early! Thank dog! The shakes were getting really bad, but they're abating now.
Sand doute?
Is that what you put in a French cat's litter box?
(Sorry, KY, for the mention of "c-a-t.") (Well, on second thought, not so much.)
WB!
Janny
About bloody time! Abandon us again, and you'd better give KY an uzi! Geeeesh, the noive!
Yowza. I clicked over here out of habit, and would ya just look at this supposed-to-be-dark place. Looks like Night of the Jonesing Snarklings.
Glad you're back, Ms. S.!
I've just noticed your site. What's it about, then? Who are you anyway?
Count Curly Wee,
Miss Snark's Site is dedicated to the dissemination of information about plumbing. We're all technical writers here.
If you notice, Miss Snark had something called a crap-o-meter a while back. That was a dedication to one of our industry's heroes, Thomas Crapper.
Thomas Crapper was born in the early 1800s. He invented a lot of useful plumbing things. He lived in England. Thomas Crapper holds patents for various drains, pipes, and manhole covers.
Hope this clears things up.
Cheers,
Which goes a lot toward explaining Miss Snark's attraction to Travis McGee***.
***bonus points for anyone getting the sideways joke.
This was a damn long week. SO glad you're back!
Great... now that Wiper's song is stuck in my head:
"You better watch out/You better beware
They’re coming from all sides of the country/Yeah, you better beware
Return of the rat/Return of the Rat/Return of the Rat
Oh no! No! No!"
You know, I checked here today hoping there was some sign of life...
Glad you're back, Miss Snark! I miss the reading.
Hope KY had a good time too!
Aaaaaaah. Relief. So glad you're back. Hope you got a much deserved rest.sopnd
Because of his houseboat, the Busted Flush.
Sorry! I may have recommended your blog to a few people. So this might be my fault. On occasion when I pitty some poor soul who tried to find an agent on some spot on Craig's List or elsewhere, I try to send them some advice and will often point them toward your website.
Of course, I meant for them to read the blog. But, what can one do? ;)
Sand doute was a typo. It was early and I hadn't had my caffeine overdose yet.
Besides, I'm allowed typos 'cause I don't speak French.
T2
Speaking of typos, I just noticed I called Miss Snark "Ms."! I hope she didn't notice. Hey, is that a stiletto lodged in my forehead?
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