Dear Miss Snark,

I'm planning on getting two pet rats and naming them Miss Snark and Killer Yapp. Do you think I'm setting them up for crushing failure and self-esteem issues when they do not live up to their namesakes?

(What is Killer Yapp's feelings toward rats? How do they rate in relation to squirrels?)

A squirrel is now the president of France so Killer Yapp is busy rerouting his Tour de France itinerary to avoid ...well..France.

We're not much fond of rats either but that's tempered by a recent rereading of Charlotte's Web and the snarly wonderfulness of Templeton.

I think you should name those rats Jimmy and Cagney cause "you dirty rats" is best said in a Cagney sneer.


John Robison said...

Up here, an excess of rodents is called Rodentation. Like, "My brother is suffering from rodentation in his house, to such an extent that he loaded the place with cats and fled for New York."

Dave Fragments said...

TRAPPED, like rodentia on a foundering schooner!

Chris Eldin said...

I'm curious about your opinion on the French presidential elections.

All of my French friends (both of them anyway), voted for Sarkozy. They weren't voting as much FOR him as AGAINST her, saying she was so brainless it was scary. Now, that could be a segue into American politics....

But I otherwise have no comments on rodents or their habits.


BernardL said...

Well said, takoda.

Anonymous said...

Clearly Miss Snark is unhappy that a pig didn't win the French election. You know... the kind of pig that is more equal than other pigs.

Elektra said...

This is an odd coincidence--I'm going today for a rat (our pet store finally carries female ones, yay!).

Lisa Cohen said...

We have pet rats and they are actually lovely little creatures. (Contrary to popular opinion)

They are *not* the same rats you see skulking around dumpsters in Chinatown.

Ours are named Ghost and Nikko.


Doreen Orion said...

My all time favorite line from Sex and the City. Carrie is staying at a rustic cabin with her boyfriend and is terrified by a squirrel.
Clueless boyfriend: But, it's only a squirrel!
Carrie: A squirrel is just a rat with a better wardrobe.

Anonymous said...

But I really want to name my rats Miss Snark and Killer Yapp! I think it'd also be a great name for a band -- Miss Snark and the Killer Yapps.

I think rats make great pets, too. You'd be surprised how many people wrinkle their noses in disgust when I tell them, though. Fools, all of 'em! :D

Elektra said...

It's the tails--people can't get past the tails. Nevermind that they're the most intelligent pets I've ever owned, not to mention loving and sweet (never had a rat bite me, whereas hamsters...), when people see the tail they start freaking out.

Anonymous said...

I think you're right. Most people seem squeamish about the tails.

I've never been bitten by rats, either. Even when they were so nervous that they left little presents in my hand. I think they make good pets for little children, especially, since they're much easier to take care of than dogs. Parents don't need to help out as much. Teaches responsibility and all that. And they're really quite lovable. :D My friend's eight-year-old brother has two (although one just died *sad face*) and he's risen to the occasion.

And hamsters are nasty little creatures.

Anonymous said...

Have a look at THIS, Ms. Snark: